Bookmarks: Arthur Koestler

In Summer 1984, The Paris Review sent Duncan Followell to interview Arthur Koestler. Here's an extract:

KOESTLER

[Picks up a magazine clipping.] Look at this. Did you ever see a magazine called the New Musical Express? It turns out there is a pop group called The Police—I don’t know why they are called that, presumably to distinguish them from the punks—and they’ve made an album of my essay “The Ghost in the Machine.” I didn’t know anything about it until my clipping agency sent me a review of the record.

INTERVIEWER

It was in the hit parade.

KOESTLER

What’s that it was in?

INTERVIEWER

The best-seller list for pop records. Didn’t you get a copy of the record?

KOESTLER

No. I’ve had no contact with the group.

INTERVIEWER

But obviously you are pleased.

KOESTLER

A rather difficult book has become the inspiration for a pop group. It came as a great surprise to me. I’m slightly tickled by it.

[via @thewrongwriter]

Stewart Copeland tells the Smiths to reunite

In a conversation with Spinner, in which Stewart Copeland stood atop of the mountain of cash he made from the Police reunion, he suggested everyone should get back together, like, right now:

Copeland believes other famous holdouts should follow suit. We asked him about the Talking Heads in particular since they come from a similar scene and era he describes as being "about anti-nostalgia."

"I would advise them to give it a try because of two reasons," he says. "One, in most bands that I know, and certainly my own band, you have a real bond with your band members. Love them or hate them, there's a bond. We in the Police found and slayed a lot of dragons. We really put a lot of misconceptions about each other and ourselves to rest. We conquered the world together, same as Talking Heads. They have had a big part in each other's lives and wouldn't it be great if they all got along? It's like burying the hatchet."

I'd just point out that when Copeland says that he and Sting and, you know, the other one, slayed dragons, he's not being hyperbolic. Or using metaphors. They made so much bloody cash from the tour, they were able to breed bloody dragons, which they then slayed.

But it's not just the Talking Heads who should get back together, believes Copeland. Everyone should:

"I don't know anything about the Smiths, but yes," he says. "It isn't any act of courage to not do it. What quality does it take to say no to something like that?"

Hmm. What would be the name of the quality which would stop you from dredging up the past and repackaging teenage dreams in order to wank for a few quid? The quality that stops you pretending to bury the hatchet just to top up your ISA? It's on the tip of my tongue...

Something nice to say about Sting

We don't often have a kind word for Sting, so let's be fair: the last ever Police date is being used as a fundraiser for public TV in the US, which is a good thing.

We were amused by this, though:

Still, fans might wonder: Is this really the last show, or will the Police just re-reform in five years and do it all again?

"I would bet the ranch that this is absolutely the last show ever," said Bill Zysblat, who produced the Police's reunion tour with Live Nation. "(Frontman) Sting has been quoted as saying it's important that things have an ending, that it was never meant to be forever, and this is a happy ending -- for everyone."

So, the guy responsible for producing the tour is agreeing with the official line that if you don't go to this one, you'll never see The Police play again. And you'd have thought he'd say "ach, they've already book the rehearsal space for the 2011 jaunt..."

Haven't The Police split once already?

The good Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg has given The Police the keys to New York to mark their career, which he praised in glowing terms, applauding:

“thirty years of staying at the top of your game” over its “long career.”

Of course, the twenty or so years during which the band weren't functioning wasn't an entirely difficult game to be on top of, but we're sure Bloomberg meant well. (Imagine, eh, a major world city with a bungling, over-promoted half-wit as a mayor. Couldn't happen here.)

At the same time, Sting and his friends took the chance to announce that they're calling a day. Again. They'll be playing their "last ever gig" (until the next one) in New York this summer. Presumably now they've got the keys to the city, they wouldn't be able to stop them.

Chef sues Sting

No, not the one who sued Sting and Trude because they sacked her for getting pregnant, this is a different chef entirely, who claims he "wrote" a couple of Police songs.:

The 48-year-old claims he helped write the songs because, wait for it…. he once told Sting about a former girlfriend who was called Roxanne and was a prostitute, and he also told him about how he once wrote a message to his mum and put it in a bottle.

Sting is dismissive of the value of these claims, saying that the chef - a Mr. Deedoodoodeedeedoodoodaa - had serious problems. "It's hard to see how he could have had these conversations as he had personal space issues. He would always be saying "don't stand, don't stand so close to me..." Oh... shit, forget I said that..."

Sting: heals the world, reunites the warring

The Led Zeppelin reunion. You might have thought it was down to the death of the band's mentor Ahmet Ertegun. But, no - it turns out that the desire to pay tribute to a key figure in their career was merely an excuse. Really, they just wanted to copy The Police, reveals Sting:

"I'd like to think we had some influence over that... I would have loved to have been there."

We've checked the historical record, and it's true - no group ever got back together before The Police did so.

And this time, stay like that

The Police have announced plans to split up this summer and round off their reunion.

Unfortunately, this doesn't prove to be any sort of legally binding promise.

Police called to end festival

No, no, the headline isn't anything to do with the regular meltdowns of public order at the end of the Leeds festival; it's about Sting who will be dragging the now-overstaying Police reunion to offer some sort of climax to the Isle of Wight Festival next summer:

"It's a coup to get The Police," said promoter John Giddings. "We're very happy to have the biggest tour of the last two years stopping by."

That's the biggest tour of the last two years if you don't count The Rolling Stones tour. Or Madonna's 2006 jaunt.

Sting croaks

There's to be a break in the Police's comeback juggernaut, as doctors beg with Sting to keep quiet for a bit. Sorry, that should be "advise", rather than "beg". Apparently he's at risk of ruining his voice if he doesn't give it a rest. So a bit of peace is in everyone's interests.

John Lydon: can anyone else smell the corpses?

Of course, he could just be trying to be ironic, but we suspect that John Lydon really doesn't see that The Police reunion and the latest in a long line of anniversary get-togethers by the Sex Pistols are the same thing. Lydon rails against The Police:

"That's really a reformation, isn't it but, honestly, that's like soggy old dead carcasses. You know listening to Stink try to squeak through 'Roxanne' one more time, that's not fun. It's like letting air out of a balloon."

Whereas hearing a tubby estate agent trying to pogo his way through Anarchy In The UK would be... what, exactly, Lydon? At least Sting never pretended to be anything other than a dull old conformist.

Meanwhile, NME.com is embarking on a pointless bid to get God Save The Queen to number one:

The song was reportedly denied the top spot when it was originally released way back in 1977 because authorities didn't want the band's punk sentiment to jar with the Queen's Jubilee that year.

As the single is reissued on seven-inch vinyl to celebrate its 30th anniversary, we are calling on all fans to buy or download it during the week beginning October 8 and hopefully we can send it back up the charts, where it rightfully belongs.

Perhaps it rightfully belonged at number one in 1977, but in what way does it have a claim to be number one in 2007? Besides, the record missed out on the number one slot not because of some Authoritarian sleight of hand, but because a number of chart return shops refused to stock the record, costing it sales.

Indeed, had the Sex Pistols really been as outrageous and shocking as they wished to be, it's arguable being in enough shops to get to number two was the failure they should worry about, not the missing out on number one.

Apparently, the Police are a "new band"

You might think the Police are currently in the middle of a midlife reunion tour.

Oh no, says Andy Summers:

"It just all sounds non-creative to me," Summers said. "The kind of chemistry in our band, there's no reunion. It's like, 'OK, we're back together, how do we make this work on all levels?'

"In a sense, it feels more like a new band. It doesn't feel like some old band and we're just going to kind of try to remember the way the old songs went and do them just like that. That wasn't the spirit that made The Police what it was."

Ah. Yes, people are forking out for tickets on the basis this is a bunch of middle-aged guys just jamming together, and not because it's a reunion of The Police. Oddly, though, tickets are priced as if it was a reunion of The Police. Funny that.

An environmental impact

At least with Live Aid, you couldn't prove that Adam Ant was taking food from starving Ethiopians. But how green are those involved in Live Earth? We've just pulled together a few notes:

Madonna

Housing
Madonna owns seven properties, scattered around the world, each taking space that could be used by other families and requiring upkeep even while sitting empty. [WebIndia]

Appeared in adverts for The Gap
The Gap is praised for being an "Environmental Protection Agency Climate Leader" in the US under the government's voluntary code for setting targets for reducing carbon footprints. However, the company hasn't actually achieved its (self-imposed and somewhat soft) targets, which makes it less a climate leader, more a whisky priest [Climate Leaders]. Furthermore, it sources clothes from around the world, adding needless journeys shipping sweaters and boxer shorts from continent to continent.

"Designed" for H&M
Leaving aside the question of if having a industry based on needing a complete new set of outfits every six months can ever be sustainable, H&M have been manufacturing clothes in Asia for the last thirty years [China Textile News 11th May 2007], and are stepping up their operartions in India, despite not actually having any retail outlets there. So everything made in the Indian stores will be shipped thousands of miles across the planet. [Images Retail]. H&M have pledged to reduce their carbon emissions, but have created a formula which means they will measure their success as "relative to sales" - in other words, they could happily keep increasing their CO₂ emissions while claiming to be reducing them. [H&M].

Provided soundtrack for Vauxhall and Peugeot car adverts

John Buckley estimates Madonna's personal carbon footprint at 1,018 tonnes, 100 times the average British impact, and "[t]he[..] singer's Confessions tour last year produced 440 tonnes of carbon pollution in just four months, simply in flights between venues. This does not include the trucks required to transport equipment, the power needed to stage each show, or the transport for fans travelling to each concert. [Daily Mail]

The Police

Housing
Sting has several homes, and often holds meetings which require people travelling from London to Wiltshire; his partner Trudi Styler boasted to Architectural Digest that their Wiltshire home consumes a vast amount of energy: "There’s nothing out of bounds, no feeling that anything is Mummy’s best furniture—and plenty of heating. I think we could heat the entire hamlet with what we’ve put in here." The house was extensively reworked by an interior designer flown in from New York for the job - presumably, nobody knows how to scatter cushions in Wiltshire. [Architectural Digest]

Advertised S-Type Jaguar
Sting's Desert Rose video was reshot as an advert for Ford's S-Type Jaguar - the top model managing a pitiful 22.5 miles per galon while spewing out 314 grammes of emissions per kilometre. [Honest John]

Sheryl Crow
Advertised Subaru four wheel drives
Every Day Is A Winding Road used as soundtrack for ads

John Legend
Lexus adverts
Music used in adverts for Lexus cars

Joss Stone
Appeared in adverts for The Gap
The Gap is praised for being an "Environmental Protection Agency Climate Leader" in the US under the government's voluntary code for setting targets for reducing carbon footprints. However, the company hasn't actually achieved its (self-imposed and somewhat soft) targets, which makes it less a climate leader, more a whisky priest [Climate Leaders]. Furthermore, it sources clothes from around the world, adding needless journeys shipping sweaters and boxer shorts from continent to continent.

Pepsi
Pepsi is signed on as a major sponsor for Live Earth [Pepsico corporate website]. One of Pepsi's major businesses, Aquafina, sells water drawn from mains in bottles, an indefensible waste of bottles, distribution, and energy. Pepsi's Chinese business has been criticised for releasing waste products into the water resulting in a blacklisting [Polaris Institute] and was named as a serious polluter by the non-governmental The Institute of Public & Environmental Affairs [IPEA] and are being investigated in Kerala after pesticide residues were found in some products [Polaris Institute]. The Pepsi bottling plant in Madhurawada was banned in 2006 from using groundwater after complaints about "the predatory exploitation of groundwater by the Pepsi bottling unit, the pollution being caused by it, the unsatisfactory way in which effluents were being treated and other related issues." [IndiaResource] In 2004, the US Environmental Protection Agency was forced to order the company to improve procedures at its Tucson bottling plant. "The company's facility lacked effective management practices or an adequate containment system, which allowed storm water to come into direct contact with industrial pollutants -- such as oil and grease -- from its truck fleet before entering municipal storm drains and the Rodeo Wash. The Rodeo Wash flows to the Santa Cruz River, a tributary of the Gila River and the Colorado River." [Environmental Protection Agency]

Microsoft
MSN is a key sponsor of the event; parent company Microsoft's policy of producing increasingly processor-heavy programs and attempting to use its near-monopoly to enforce upgrades of equipment to cope with the heavier software means hundreds of thousands computers are discarded every year by people who need newer equipment to do exactly the same things they were doing with their old machines. [Green Party warns of Vista Landfill effect]

The Live Earth environmental impact
Artists will fly a total of 222,623.63 miles to attend the various concerts
Carbon footprint of event, including expected TV audience: 74,500 tonnes
1,025 tonnes of waste will be generated
[Daily Mail]

Police: criticism from own ranks

Victoria Newton, oddly, managed to run a review of the Police's comeback gig under her own byline, despite it happening in Vancouver and her being in London. Perhaps that's how she was able to report that it was GRATE:

[A]n encore featuring Every Breath You Take finished their comeback in style.

Sting owned the stage and did son JOE SUMNER. whose band FICTION PLANE was the support act, very proud.

Meanwhile ANDY SUMMERS wowed fans with his guitar solos, and STEWART COPELAND proved he is still a great drummer . . . despite the dodgy headband.

... while someone who was there, Stewart Copeland in fact, didn't think they were up to much:

“Whenever you’re ready Mr. Copeland” says Charlie, the production manager, as two crew members hold aside the giant gong, creating just enough space for me to slither onto my percussion stage, which is still down in its pit. I leap on board but my foot catches something and I sprawl into the arena in a jumble as the little stage starts to rise into view. Never mind. The audience is screaming with anticipation as I collect myself in the dark and start to warm, up the gong with a few gentle taps. But I’m overdoing it. It’s resonating and reaching it’s crescendo before the stage has fully reached its position. Sort of like a premature ejaculation. There’s nothing for it so I take a big swing for the big hit. Problem is, I’m just fractionally too far away and the beater misses the sweet spot and the big pompous opening to the show is a damp squib. Never mind.

I stride manfully to my drums. Andy has started the opening guitar riff to MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE and the crowd is going nuts. Problem is, I missed hearing him start. Is he on the first time around or the second? I look over at Sting and he’s not much help, his cue is me – and I’m lost. Never mind. “Crack!” on the snare and I’m in, so Sting starts singing. Problem is, he heard my crack as two in the bar, but it was actually four – so we are half a bar out of sync with each other. Andy is in Idaho.

Well we are professionals so we soon get sorted, but the groove is eluding us. We crash through MESSAGE and then go strait into SYNCHRONICITY. But there is just something wrong. We just can’t get on the good foot. We shamble through the song and hit the big ending. Last night Sting did a big leap for the cut-off hit, and he makes the same move tonight, but he gets the footwork just a little bit wrong and doesn’t quite achieve lift-off. The mighty Sting momentarily looks like a petulant pansy instead of the god of rock. Never Mind. Next song is going to be great…

But it isn’t. We get to the end of the first verse and I snap into the chorus groove – and Sting doesn’t. He’s still in the verse. We’ll have to listen to the tapes tomorrow to see who screwed up, but we are so off kilter that Sting counts us in to begin the song again. This is ubeLIEVably lame. We are the mighty Police and we are totally at sea.

And so it goes, for song after song. All I can think about is how Dietmar is going to string us up. In rehearsal this afternoon we changed the keys of EVERY LITTLE THING and DON’T STAND SO CLOSE so needless to say Andy and Sting are now on-stage in front of twenty thousand fans playing avant-garde twelve-tone hodgepodges of both tunes. Lost, lost, lost. I also changed my part for DON’T STAND and it’s actually working quite well but there is a dissonant noise coming from my two colleagues. In WALKING/FOOTSTEPS, I worked out a cool rhythm change for the rock-a-billy guitar solo, but now I make a complete hash of it – by playing it in the wrong part of the song. It’s not sounding so cool.

It usually takes about four or five shows in a tour before you get to the disaster gig. But we’re The Police so we are a little ahead of schedule. It’s only the second show (not counting the fan gig – 4,000 people doesn’t count as a gig in the Police scale of things).

Perhaps it sounded so much better if you were a little off from the stage. Like Wapping.

How do you revive a clapped-out warhorse?

In the case of MTV Unplugged, an idea which had its time and now wants it over again, you try by hiring acts who are even older and more dried-out than the format. Bon Jovi, The Police, Kenny Chesney and John Mayer are all lined up to do their thing.

Group hug: The Police reconnect

There's something of a gushing piece in today's Mail, where The Police are gathered together and warned that anything they say may be taken down and used to make them look really fabulous. Chris Iley grants them a straight face for even the most eye-watering moments:

Coming back together is a hugely emotional deal.

Sting tells me that before they went on stage at the Grammys, they all huddled together. "I said: "Look, we are doing this for each other. We have to play for each other.""

After the Grammys, Sting told me: "We grew apart from a vortex of tension. We stopped connecting and I wanted to fix that."

All the ends that were never tied or severed are now being woven back together again.

Indeed, so flattering is Iley that the recent bit of unpleasant for Sting and Trudie is somewhat downplayed:

Trudie is always smiling when she's by his side. They seem truly devoted to one another.

Sting needs her loyalty and he has been equally steadfast with Trudie, who was recently taken to an industrial tribunal by their former chef who alleged unfair dismissal.

This is a curiously sketched version of events - a woman was sacked because she became pregnant, went to a tribunal and won her claim that Styler had broken the law in canning her. Why, I wonder, does Iley not detail this a little more honestly? Surely not because The Police had been given copy approval? Actually, that might be slightly less disturbing than the thought that perhaps Iley or the Mail had elected to take out the nasty truth for themselves.

Flob at sting

While the concept of a man knocking fifty spitting a picture is one so devoid of dignity we're almost tempted to send him a telegram asking him who the prime minister is, few of us can honestly say, confronted by a portrait of Sting, we wouldn't consider spitting at it. Paul Weller, apparently, actually did.

Townshend: Police aren't Classic

Pete Townshend has been grumbling about the suggestion that the Police are part of the pop pantheon:

“The Police are punk. They’re a punk band,” Townshend reportedly said. “They’re not classic rock. You know, you’ve got the Stones and the Who. Classic rock — finished. It’s all over after that … This is just music. It’s not clasic [sic] anything.”

We can see what he's saying - although a pantheon which consists of two is a little small - but the Police punk? Maybe you could argue that their worthwhile work was New Wave, but... punk?

To be honest, since we've always assumed anything that gets called "classic rock" is a shorthand for "overblown, over-rated and over-stayed", we'd say that the Police are spot on Classic Rock.

The kids are alright

The excitement about the Police tour might be unfathomable, but is certainly tangible. However, the band have found a way to test even the patience of the most ardent fan with the choice of opening act: Fiction Plane. We're sure they were invited for their "blend of U2 and Starsailor" and not simply because their leader is Joe Sumner, son of Sting.

Grammys tell Blunt: You're not that beautiful

We can't help but wonder if James Blunt's failure to convert any of the five Grammy nominations into a prize is partly because, like the rest of us, the Grammy academy went "didn't You're Beautiful come out like five or six years ago?"

Or maybe they just thought it was shocking.

In fact, it was a bit of a bad night all round for British music: Blunt, Corinne Bailey Rae, KT Tunstall and the Arctic Monkeys all discovered there was an end to how far they could coast on charm alone, and will now be recalibrating their hopes from "winning a prize on US network television" down into "might get a grope off Russell Brand."

The Dixie Chicks did splendidly, winning five prizes - best album, record of the year, song of the year, country album and country performance. This, of course, is the US midterm election replayed as prize ceremony. Indeed, so much did they dominate the ceremony that Yahoo lists the winners of everything under "Dixie Chicks news".

The Red Hot Chili Peppers scooped four awards - scandalously, Stadium Arcadium's so-so packaging beat out that goth compilation which came in a corset; it also picked up rock album, Rock Song (Dani California), and rock performance.

Despite Fergie sounding more bored than a dull child being forced to revise latin ("check it out" indeed), the Black Eyed Peas' My Humps was given best pop performance by a bunch. Christina Aguilera's Aint No Other Man was the best female pop and John Mayer's Waiting On The World To Change was the bloke's version.

Poor Justin Timberlake struggled with flu to make sure he didn't miss out a chance to boost the post-Christmas market ("didn't let down his fans"), but it was still The Police's first gig in, ooh, three or four years that won the most excited reviews - even although SFGate's Culture blog was less than thrilled:

The once-blonde trio played its hit, "Roxanne." In a word, it was "jazzy." Sting missed all the high notes, which is pretty much missing the point of the entire song.

But no other tunes were forthcoming. No "Every Breath You Take." No "Message In A Bottle." Not even a stupid medley with just the chorus from "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic."

The most surprising thing was how little all the members have aged. Seriously, it looked like 1983 up there. Especially if you were watching it on a black and white TV and pretended the drummer's hair wasn't gray.

Oh, and it was kind of weird that Sting didn't break out in a lute solo while having Tantric sex with a tree from the Amazon jungle.

Roxanne (not, we suspect, their real name), commenting on Monsters and Critics didn't put on a red light, either:

They should have picked up a phone and sung it in.
Don't bother getting back together.
That was awful and painful to watch.

The Associated Press reports that Randy Jackson seemed desperate to try and use Carrie Underwood's Grammy to somehow "prove" that American Idol is more than just a passing talent show - why, it's at the very heart of American cultural life:

"These kids definitely help to validate what we do," Jackson said. "... People talking about how mean and crazy we are — Simon (Cowell) calling people names and all that kind of stuff — the truth of the matter is that at the end of the season, someone great that wouldn't have had a chance otherwise, wins it and gets a shot at a career and I'm really happy about that."

If it is true that Carrie Underwood is that good, and it's true that she wouldn't have got a shot without American Idol, doesn't that not so much validate you, Abdul and Cowell shouting at thousands of hapless wannabes on TV less than condemn the whole music industry whose foul heart you are currently celebrating, Jackson?
Ryan Seacrest, of course, hosts both Idol and the Grammys, so he doesn't care either way. He wasn't afraid to ask the difficult questions, grilling John Mayer on the important issue of if he'd shagged Jessica Simpson (he didn't phrase it like that, of course - the FCC were Tivoing the show). MTV reports that Mayer answered in Japanese. We hope the delay on the broadcast was long enough to let someone translate the response.

And is Underwood really that good? Cinemablend certainly wasn't impressed:

Shame on Carrie Underwood for an inexcusably bland rendition of “Desperardo.” Here is a song that is loaded with passion and heart, and she served it up cold on a big plate of blah. It takes more than just reciting lyrics, Carrie … you have to at least pretend to be feeling them. Especially if you’re going to win the Best New Artist award over your far more exceptional peers.

Deserving an extra prize, surely, is Ludacris. Probably for chutzpah. The LA Daily News was almost delighted by his decision to thank Bill O'Reilly at Fox News for his help in securing the best rap award, as it was by Mary J Blige's refusal to take the subtle hint of an orchestra as loud as an angry hell-hound trying to get her off stage:

After winning best R&B album, Blige thanked her husband and children then started down a long list of names. The orchestra music began to get louder but Blige wasn't going anywhere. She kept reading names and as the music got louder, so did she until she was at the end of her list.

Apparently at the end, they were throwing depth charges.
Fahsionista's Fashion & Style blog nominated red-carpet best-dressed: Aguilera, Fergie and Blige. They do, however, bemoan the one-note dresses:

Grammy's red carpet Best Dressed vary, except they were all missing one thing: the color!

Mind you, the Grammys didn't embrace grey so tightly as to give a prize to James Blunt.
ClayCrane made it through the whole slew of prize-givings, and also had something to say about fashion:

One of the best performances of the night was from the Dixie Chicks who sang their “you just can’t take it” anthem, "Not Ready to Make Nice", which is an ode to all the rednecks fools of country music. The voice and performance was flawless…but to see Natalie Maines stuffed in that white dress, which resembled a middle school prom “cream puff” gown was insulting to their "political statement."

Hang about, though... did the Dixies even deserve to be flouncing about on stage in a puffy white dress? Tisbury Lane pulled on a tinfoil hat:

Grammys are rigged. I swear they are. The Academy is ridiculous. The Dixie Chicks and Mary J Blige did NOT deserve to walk away with that many Grammys. The Dixie Chicks especially did NOT deserve album of the year, over Justin Timberlake and John Mayer. Not in the least bit.

Yes... they must be rigged. Or, possibly, voted for by morons.Why go to the trouble of rigging an election when your candidate will win anyway?
Newspaper man Driving to Oahu suggested his paper run the following headline to mark the Chick's victory:

GRAMMYS HATE AMERICA
Recording industry jumps on worldwide bandwagon

- he was, we should point out, joking.
Young at Heart, however, wasn't:

Anyways, I'm actually kind of shocked that the Dixie Chicks were there, much less won what was it, 4 awards? I got nervous every time they went up on stage, kinda like I got nervous when Kanye West came out. Now I haven't heard all of "Not Ready To Make Nice" but I can guess from what I did hear of it tonight what point they were trying to make.

And really not joking? That'd be Live Free or Die:

Why in the holy living fuck did the Dixie Chicks win a jagillion awards at the Grammys? They suck. They always have. They are a bunch of whiny cunts who don't deserve a record deal. I hope their tour bus crashes.

Charming.
The oddest performance of the night caught the attention of GingerSnaps. Yes, yes, The Police doing Roxanne is some sort of classic, but:

Lionel [Richie]...omg..."Hello"...I'm back in 1985 again...

Funky Brown Chick rated the man-candy on offer:

Justin Timberlake was surprising sexy last night — baby’s growing up nice and gooood.

Most interesting blog coverage of the Grammys must be Arty Velarde, who sketched the event for his blog.
Without Arty's stamina was New and Used Records, who set out to liveblog the whole thing but sometime around 9.55pm collapsed in a howl of rage:

That's it - I can't handle this anymore.

But if they think they had it bad, spare a thought for Hurry up Fashion:

I sat through three hours of Grammy whoredom waiting for the Police on the Grammys, all to discover that they played the opening segment of which I missed. Duh!

So, the winners in full - and we mean full, polka prizes and all:

Album of the Year: "Taking the Long Way," Dixie Chicks.

Record of the Year: "Not Ready to Make Nice," Dixie Chicks.

Song of the Year: "Not Ready to Make Nice," Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robison and Dan Wilson (Dixie Chicks).

New Artist: Carrie Underwood.

Female R&B Vocal Performance: "Be Without You," Mary J. Blige.

Pop Vocal Album: "Continuum," John Mayer.

Pop Collaboration With Vocals: "For Once in My Life," Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder.

Country Album: "Taking the Long Way," Dixie Chicks.

Rap Album: "Release Therapy," Ludacris.

Rock Album: "Stadium Arcadium," Red Hot Chili Peppers.

R&B Album: "The Breakthrough," Mary J. Blige.

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical: Rick Rubin.

Traditional Pop Vocal Album: "Duets: an American Classic," Tony Bennett.

Female Pop Vocal Performance: "Ain't No Other Man," Christina Aguilera.

Male Pop Vocal Performance: "Waiting on the World to Change," John Mayer.

Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal: "My Humps," Black Eyed Peas.

Pop Instrumental Performance: "Mornin'," George Benson (& Al Jarreau).

Pop Instrumental Album: "Fingerprints," Peter Frampton.

Rock Instrumental Performance: "The Wizard Turns On ... ," the Flaming Lips.

Rock Song: "Dani California," Flea, John Frusciante, Anthony Kiedis and Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers);

Solo Rock Vocal Performance: "Someday Baby," Bob Dylan.

Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal: "Dani California," Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Hard Rock Performance: "Woman," Wolfmother.

Metal Performance: "Eyes of the Insane," Slayer.

Alternative Music Album: "St. Elsewhere," Gnarls Barkley.

Dance Recording: "Sexy Back," Justin Timberlake and Timbaland.

Electronic/Dance Album: "Confessions on a Dance Floor," Madonna.

Rap Solo Performance: "What You Know," T.I.

Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: "Ridin," Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone.

Rap/Sung Collaboration: "My Love," Justin Timberlake featuring T.I.

Rap Song: "Money Maker," Christopher Bridges and Pharrell Williams (Ludacris featuring Pharrell).

Urban/Alternative Performance: "Crazy," Gnarls Barkley.

Male R&B Vocal Performance: "Heaven," John Legend.

R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals: "Family Affair," (Sly and the Family Stone), John Legend, Joss Stone With Van Hunt.

Traditional R&B Vocal Performance: "God Bless the Child," George Benson and Al Jarreau featuring Jill Scott.

R&B Song: "Be Without You," Johnta Austin, Mary J. Blige, Bryan-Michael Cox and Jason Perry (Mary J. Blige).

Contemporary R&B Album: "B'Day," Beyonce.

Traditional Blues Album: "Risin' With the Blues," Ike Turner.

Contemporary Blues Album: "After the Rain," Irma Thomas.

Female Country Vocal Performance: "Jesus, Take the Wheel," Carrie Underwood.

Male Country Vocal Performance: "The Reason Why," Vince Gill.

Country Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal: "Not Ready to Make Nice," Dixie Chicks.

Country Collaboration With Vocals: "Who Says You Can't Go Home," Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles.

Country Instrumental Performance: "Whiskey Before Breakfast," Bryan Sutton and Doc Watson.

Country Song: "Jesus, Take the Wheel," Brett James, Hillary Lindsey and Gordie Sampson (Carrie Underwood).

Bluegrass Album: "Instrumentals," Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder.

Contemporary Jazz Album: "The Hidden Land," Bela Fleck and the Flecktones.

Jazz Instrumental Solo: "Some Skunk Funk," Michael Brecker.

Jazz Instrumental Album, Individual or Group: "The Ultimate Adventure," Chick Corea.

Large Jazz Ensemble Album: "Some Skunk Funk," Randy Brecker With Michael Brecker, Jim Beard, Will Lee, Peter Erskine, Marcio.

Jazz Vocal Album: "Turned to Blue," Nancy Wilson.

Instrumental Composition: "A Prayer for Peace," John Williams, composer (John Williams), from "Munich — Soundtrack."

Instrumental Arrangement: "Three Ghouls," Chick Corea, arranger (Chick Corea), from "The Ultimate Adventure."

Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s): "For Once in My Life," Jorge Calandrelli, arranger (Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder), from "Duets: an American Classic."

Gospel Performance: "Victory," Yolanda Adams.

Gospel Song: "Imagine Me," Kirk Franklin (Kirk Franklin).

Rock or Rap Gospel Album: "Turn Around," Jonny Lang.

Pop/Contemporary Gospel Album: "Wherever You Are," Third Day.

Southern, Country, or Bluegrass Gospel Album: "Glory Train," Randy Travis.

Traditional Gospel Album: "Alive in South Africa," Israel and New Breed.

Contemporary R&B Gospel Album: "Hero," Kirk Franklin.

Short Form Music Video: "Here It Goes Again," OK Go.

Long Form Music Video: "Wings for Wheels: The Making of Born to Run," Bruce Springsteen.

Producer of the Year, Classical: Elaine Martone.

Classical Album: "Mahler: Symphony No. 7," Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor, Andreas Neubronner, producer (San Francisco Symphony).

Orchestral Performance: "Mahler: Symphony No. 7," Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor (San Francisco Symphony).

Opera Recording: "Golijov: Ainadamar: Fountain of Tears," Robert Spano, conductor, Kelley O'Connor and Dawn Upshaw; Valerie Gross and Sid McLauchlan, producers (Women of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Chorus, Atlanta Symphony Orchestra).

Choral Performance: "Part: Da Pacem," Paul Hillier, conductor (Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir).

Instrumental Soloist(s) Performance (with Orchestra): "Messiaen: Oiseaux Exotiques (Exotic Birds)," John McLaughlin Williams, conductor; Angelin Chang (Cleveland Chamber Symphony).

Instrumental Soloist Performance (without Orchestra): "Chopin: Nocturnes," Maurizio Pollini.

Chamber Music Performance: "Intimate Voices," Emerson String Quartet.

Small Ensemble Performance: "Padilla: Sun of Justice," Peter Rutenberg, conductor (Los Angeles Chamber Singers' Cappella).

Classical Vocal Performance: "Rilke Songs," Lorraine Hunt Lieberson (Peter Serkin), track from Lieberson: Rilke Songs, The Six Realms, Horn Concerto.

Classical Contemporary Composition: "Golijov: Ainadamar: Fountain of Tears," Osvaldo Golijov (Robert Spano).

Classical Crossover Album: "Simple Gifts," Bryn Terfel (London Voices; London Symphony Orchestra).

Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Walk the Line," Joaquin Phoenix and Various Artists.

Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Memoirs of a Geisha," John Williams, composer.

Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Our Town (From Cars)," Randy Newman (James Taylor).

Musical Show Album: "Jersey Boys."

Musical Album for Children: "Catch That Train," Dan Zanes and Friends.

Comedy Album: "The Carnegie Hall Performance," Lewis Black.

New Age Album: "Amarantine," Enya.

Traditional Folk Album: "We Shall Overcome — the Seeger Sessions," Bruce Springsteen.

Contemporary Folk/Americana Album: "Modern Times," Bob Dylan.

Latin Pop Album (tie): "Adentro," Arjona. "Limon Y Sal," Julieta Venegas.

Latin Rock, Alternative or Urban Album: "Amar Es Combatir," Mana.

Tropical Latin Album: "Directo Al Corazon," Gilberto Santa Rosa.

Mexican/Mexican-American Album: "Historias De Mi Tierra," Pepe Aguilar.

Tejano Album: "Sigue El Taconazo," Chente Barrera.

Norteno Album: "Historias Que Contar," Los Tigres Del Norte.

Banda Album: "Mas Alla Del Sol," Joan Sebastian.

Latin Jazz Album: "Simpatico," the Brian Lynch/Eddie Palmieri Project.

Native American Music Album: "Dance With the Wind," Mary Youngblood.

Hawaiian Music Album: "Legends of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar — Live From Maui," Various Artists.

Reggae Album: "Love Is My Religion," Ziggy Marley.

Traditional World Music Album: "Blessed," Soweto Gospel Choir.

Contemporary World Music Album: "Wonder Wheel," the Klezmatics.

Polka Album: "Polka in Paradise," Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra.

Spoken Word Album for Children: "Blah Blah Blah: Stories About Clams, Swamp Monsters, Pirates and Dogs," Bill Harley.

Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books and Story Telling). (Tie): "Our Endangered Values: America's Moral Crisis (Jimmy Carter)," Jimmy Carter. "With Ossie and Ruby: In This Life Together (Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee)," Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee.

Recording Package: "10,000 Days," Adam Jones, art director (Tool).

Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: "Stadium Arcadium," Flea, John Frusciante, Anthony Kiedis, Chad Smith and Matt Taylor, art directors (Red Hot Chili Peppers).

Album Notes: "If You Got to Ask, You Ain't Got It!" Dan Morgenstern, album notes writer (Fats Waller).

Historical Album: "Lost Sounds: Blacks and the Birth of the Recording Industry 1891-1922."

Engineered Album, Classical: "Elgar: Enigma Variations; Britten: the Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, Four Sea Interludes," Michael Bishop, engineer (Paavo Jarvi and Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra).

Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "At War With the Mystics," the Flaming Lips and Dave Fridmann, engineers (The Flaming Lips).

Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: "Talk (Thin White Duke Mix)," Jacques Lu Cont, remixer (Coldplay).

Surround Sound Album: "Morph the Cat," Darcy Proper, surround mastering.

Police reunited

It's been confirmed - Sting is really getting back together with his old chums The Police. Their first outing will be to do the opening number at the Grammys next month, and then they'll be fleecing fans on a tour, reports 6Music.

Of course, it's been ages since the Police last played together... a whole four years, when they did some tunes at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.