Grammys 2016: Nothing takes the shine off an award like knowing they're voted for by a team who think Ed Sheeran made the best song

The Grammys took place last night - yeah, on a Monday for some reason. I suppose that makes it unlikely that the night would clash with any other awards ceremony, because who holds an awards ceremony on a Monday night?

Taylor Swift's 1989 took best album, a reminder of just how bloody slow the Grammys awards are in the modern world (it came out in October 2014).

Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud was judged to have been the best song of the year, and no amount of crowd-pleasing attempts to balance that out by prizes for Uptown Funk can disguise that prize alone shows Grammy judges don't really like music at all.

Here's all the winners:

Album of the Year

1989, Taylor Swift

Song of the Year

"Thinking Out Loud," Ed Sheeran and Amy Wadge

Record of the Year

"Uptown Funk," Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars

Best Rap Album

To Pimp a Butterfly, Kendrick Lamar

Best Country Album

Traveler, Chris Stapleton

Best Musical Theater Album

Hamilton

Best Rap Performance

"Alright," Kendrick Lamar

Best Rap Song

"Alright," Kendrick Lamar

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

"These Walls," Kendrick Lamar featuring Bilal, Anna Wise, and Thundercat

Best Rock Performance

"Don't Wanna Fight," Alabama Shakes

Best Music Video

"Bad Blood," Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar

Best New Artist

Meghan Trainor

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical

Jeff Bhasker

Best Country Song

"Girl Crush," Hillary Lindsey, Lori McKenna, and Liz Rose (Little Big Town)

Best Country Solo Performance

"Traveller," Chris Stapleton

Best Country Duo/Group Performance

"Girl Crush," Little Big Town

Best Pop Vocal Album

Taylor Swift, 1989

Best Pop Solo Performance

"Thinking Out Loud," Ed Sheeran

Best Rock Album

Drones, Muse

Best Alternative Album

Sound & Color, Alabama Shakes

Best Rock Performance

"Don't Wanna Fight," Alabama Shakes

Best Rock Song

"Don't Wanna Fight," Alabama Shakes

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance

"Uptown Funk," Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars

Best Metal Performance

"Cirice," Ghost

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album

"The Silver Lining: The Songs of Jerome Kern," Tony Bennett and Bill Charlap

Best Traditional R&B Performance

"Little Ghetto Boy," Lalah Hathaway

Best Dance/Electronic Album

Skrillex and Diplo Present Jack Ü, Skrillex and Diplo

Best Dance Recording

"Where Are Ü Now," Skrillex and Diplo with Justin Bieber

Remixed Recording, Non-Classical

"Uptown Funk (Dave Audé Remix)," Dave Audé (Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars)

Best Urban Contemporary Album

Beauty Behind the Madness, the Weeknd

Best Comedy Album

Live at Madison Square Garden, Louis CK

Best R&B Album

Black Messiah, D'Angelo and the Vanguard

Best R&B Song

"Really Love," D'Angelo and Kendra Foster

Best R&B Performance

"Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey)," the Weeknd

Best Blues Album

Born to Play Guitar, Buddy Guy

Best Folk Album

Béla Fleck and Abigail Washburn, Béla Fleck and Abigail Washburn

Best Reggae Album

Strictly Roots, Morgan Heritage

Best New Age Album

"Grace," Paul Avgerinos

Best Surround Sound Album

"Amused to Death," James Guthrie and Joel Plante (Roger Waters)

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media

Birdman, Antonio Sanchez

Best Song Written for Visual Media

"Glory," performed by Common and John Legend

Best Music Film

Amy, Amy Winehouse; Asif Kapadia, video director; James Gay-Rees, video producer

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media

Glen Campbell: I'll Be Me

Best Spoken Word Album

A Full Life: Reflections at Ninety, Jimmy Carter

Contemporary Instrumental Album

"Sylva," Snarky Puppy and Metropole Orkest

Best Improvised Jazz Solo

"Cherokee," Christian McBride

Best Jazz Vocal Album

"For One to Love," Cécile McLorin Salvant

Best Jazz Instrumental Album

"Past Present," John Scofield

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album

"The Thompson Fields," Maria Schneider Orchestra

Best Children's Album

"Home," Tim Kubart

Best World Music Album

"Sings," Angelique Kidjo

Best Regional Roots Music Album

"Go Go Juice," Jon Cleary

Best Bluegrass Album

"The Muscle Shoals Recordings," The Steeldrivers

Best Americana Album

"Something More Than Free," Jason Isbell

Best American Roots Song

"24 Frames," Jason Isbell

Best American Roots Performance

"See That My Grave Is Kept Clean," Mavis Staples

Best Latin Pop Album

"A Quien Quiera Escuchar (Deluxe Edition)," Ricky Martin

Best Tropical Latin Album

"Son De Panamá," Rubén Blades with Roberto Delgado and Orchestra


Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album

TIE: "Hasta la Raíz," Natalia Lafourcade and "Dale," Pitbull

Best Regional Mexican Music Album

"Realidades, Deluxe Edition," Los Tigres Del Norte

Best Roots Gospel Album

"Still Rockin' My Soul," the Fairfield Four

Best Contemporary Christian Album

"This Is Not a Test," Tobymac

Best Gospel Album

"Covered: Alive in Asia [Live] (Deluxe)," Israel & Newbreed

Best Historical Album

"The Basement Tapes Complete: The Bootleg Series Vol. 11," Bob Dylan and the Band

Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song

"Holy Spirit," Francesca Battistelli

Best Engineered Album, Classical

"Ask Your Mama," Leslie Ann Jones, John Kilgore, Nora Kroll-Rosenbaum, and Justin Merrill, engineers; Patricia Sullivan, mastering engineer (George Manahan and San Francisco Ballet Orchestra)

Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical

"Sound & Color," Shawn Everett, engineer; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer (Alabama Shakes)

Best Producer, Classical

Judith Sherman

Best Album Notes

"Love Has Many Faces: A Quartet, A Ballet, Waiting to Be Danced," Joni Mitchell, (Joni Mitchell)

Best Orchestral Performance

"Shostakovich: Under Stalin's Shadow — Symphony No. 10," Andris Nelsons, conductor (Boston Symphony Orchestra)

Best Opera Recording

"Ravel: L'Enfant Et Les Sortilèges; Shéhérazade," Seiji Ozawa, conductor; Isabel Leonard; Dominic Fyfe, producer (Saito Kinen Orchestra; SKF Matsumoto Chorus and SKF Matsumoto Children's Chorus)

Best Choral Performance

"Beethoven: Missa Solemnis," Bernard Haitink, conductor; Peter Dijkstra, chorus master (Anton Barachovsky, Genia Kühmeier, Elisabeth Kulman, Hanno Müller-Brachmann, and Mark Padmore; Symphonieorchester Des Bayerischen Rundfunks; Chor Des Bayerischen Rundfunks)

Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance

"Brahms: The Piano Trios," Tanja Tetzlaff, Christian Tetzlaff, and Lars Vogt

Best Classical Instrumental Solo

"Dutilleux: Violin Concerto, L'Arbre Des Songes," Augustin Hadelich; Ludovic Morlot, conductor (Seattle Symphony)

Best Classical Solo Vocal Album

"Joyce & Tony — Live From Wigmore Hall," Joyce DiDonato; Antonio Pappano, accompanist

Best Classical Compendium

"Paulus: Three Places of Enlightenment; Veil of Tears & Grand Concerto," Giancarlo Guerrero, conductor; Tim Handley, producer

Best Contemporary Classical Composition

"Paulus: Prayers & Remembrances," Stephen Paulus, composer (Eric Holtan, True Concord Voices, and Orchestra)

Best Boxed or Limited Edition Package

"The Rise & Fall of Paramount Records, Volume Two (1928-32)," Susan Archie, Dean Blackwood & Jack White (Various Artists)

Best Recording Package

"Still the King: Celebrating the Music of Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys," Sarah Dodds, Shauna Dodds and Dick Reeves (Asleep at the Wheel)

Best Arrangement, Instruments and Vocals

"Sue (Or In a Season of Crime)," Maria Schneider (David Bowie)

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Cappella

"Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy," Ben Bram, Mitch Grassi, Scott Hoying, Avi Kaplan, Kirstin Maldonado and Kevin Olusola (Pentatonix)

Best Instrumental Composition

"The Afro Latin Jazz Suite," Arturo O'Farrill (Arturo O'Farrill and the Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra featuring Rudresh Mahanthappa)

Ed Sheeran 2.0

To be honest, if he can work out how not to fall over, George Stephanopoulos (who used to be Big Bird's imaginary friend in Sesame Street) could make a living as an Ed Sheeran tribute act. Or the other way round.

Ed Sheeran makes money like he's a house in Kensington

Ed Sheeran. He makes money. Lots of it:

Ed Sheeran earns a staggering £15,000 a DAY, according to new figures filed at Companies House.

The flame-haired singer, who is listed as a director of Ed Sheeran Limited, made an eye-watering £5,679,456 in pre-tax profits last year - which works out as £15,560 a day. Now THAT is pretty impressive.

Business experts say that the last time something so inoffensive but ultimately pointless had such a huge earning potential compared to talent, it was when that puppy off the Andrex packets made it big.

It turns out that Ed Sheeran is even duller than we thought

You might have thought that Ed Sheeran was a little dull.

You might now want to recalibrate how dull he is after he paid a surprise visit to Grand Forks, North Dakota.

In a town he'd never seen before, how did he spend his time?

Sheeran’s trip around Grand Forks began with a round of golf at the King’s Walk Golf Course with his team.

Yes. Playing golf.

This was an impromptu stop-off between gigs. And he played golf.

Bearing in mind nobody knew it was going to happen in advance, I'm a bit puzzled about how warmly the Golf Club is applauding itself for not making a big deal about it:

Nelson said the staff at Eagle’s Crest tried to keep Sheeran’s appearance under wraps to be respectful of his privacy.

I suppose golf does drag on and on, so during a match there would be time for the paparazzi to hoof out to North Dakota but it seems unlikely. And given the club's spokeperson is detailing the visit to the local paper, there's not much privacy being respected after the event, either.

I only hope that Sheeran was able to top off this day in equally dull style.

Following his round of golf, Sheeran was spotted at Texas Roadhouse ordering a steak.

Yep.

Popular music might have just died

Remember when pop stars used to swish around, doing interesting and exciting stuff?

Remember when you wanted to be a pop star?

Remember that?

Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith have a bet on to see who can lose a stone in weight fastest.

It gets worse:

According to sources, 6ft 2in Stay With Me singer Sam, 22 – who has ­struggled with his weight since childhood – has enlisted the help of a hypnotist and top Harley Street nutritionist.

This is meant to be pop. It sounds like a b-story from Downton Abbey.

Ed Sheeran cuts prices

It goes against the very grain of every fibre of my existence to say something nice about Ed Sheeran, but... doing a tour of Australia where the ticket prices are designed to be affordable rather than gouging the fans is a Nice Thing To Do:

ED Sheeran has announced an Australian arena tour on his lonesome and on a budget.

Sheeran will charge only $99 for tickets for all concerts on his April/May tour next year, with none of the usual VIP packages or premium seating charges.

Although that is still the equivalent of fifty-three British pounds for a ticket, so it's a rather stretchy definition of "affordable" (roughly a full day's work at Australian minimum wage levels, for example).

And given that it's just him and a guitar and no band, the costs are pretty low to start with.

But - even with those points in mind, and somewhat grudgingly - the excising of 'even more expensive tickets' is a welcome move. Everyone's being a bit overcharged, but everyone's being a bit overcharged by the same amount.

Tedious craze creates tedious press release

I know, I know. They're pouring buckets of ice over themselves for charity, and not for self-publicity. Absolutely. And it's all in aid of... sick kids or whatever. Okay, mostly it seems about the self-publicity.

Now, thought, the harmless self-publicity craze is being hijacked by businesses trying to exploit it. A site called MusicTalkers has been given some exciting news by "music discovery service Timbre":

Lily Allen has experienced a 48% jump in her ticket demand after posting a video online of herself performing the ice bucket challenge, according to music discovery service Timbre.

Ed Sheeran, following his video, saw traffic rise by 54% for his European tour. The challenge itself involves having a bucket of ice cold water poured over the volunteer’s head, with the aim of raising awareness of neurodegenerative illness ALS.

I suppose at least they got a mention of the disease in there, too.

Timbre - whose 'music discovery' product is actually just a glorified gig guide - don't bother to put any figures on this massive uplift - no indication of if this is about six million suddenly becoming nine million, or two adding an extra one; no indication of how long a time period this uplift covers. Presumably it's just looking at its own stats, and - given that these are tickets which haven't just come onto the market - the numbers of people who happened to be looking at Allen or Sheeran on the off-chance must have been relatively low prior water-splosh; so... is a tiny uptick really worth making a fuss about?

Taylor Swift experiences invasion

Last night was the first night of Taylor Swift's Red tour in the UK.

It was all spoiled though, when a shambling idiot appeared on stage.

And as if Ed Sheeran coming on to do an duet wasn't bad enough there was a stage invasion by someone from the audience.

(Thank you. You may now choose from 'Seinfeldian slap bass riff' or the traditional 'boom-tish drum effect'.)

The stage invader handed Swift a note - believed to read "we love you, but in god's name don't inflict any more Ed Sheeran on us, please" - before being removed by security.

Someone in the crowd took a photo of it, and luckily Kevin Cummins didn't turn up to make them delete the picture:

Taylor Swift Fan On Stage To Give Note - http://t.co/WHtYN837Qd pic.twitter.com/GLlhHqZD3h

— OCEANUP (@OCEANUP) February 2, 2014

Gordon in the morning: A second look at Ed Sheeran

This morning, Ed Sheeran reveals his looks nearly cost him his job:

The Suffolk lad, who’s gone on to sell millions after initially being knocked back, said: “Every single label I had gone to at the time had told me this song wasn’t a hit. They said this song wouldn’t work.

“And the fact that I was slightly chubby and ginger was not a good ‘marketing tool’ for them.”

That just seems unfairly rude - sure, going 'your record isn't very good' is fair enough, but to then go 'and you look all wrong too' isn't particularly kind.

Very much "Mr Jones, your pies are full of gristle and bone. They are quite inedible. We couldn't possibly put them in our shop.

Also, the font you're using on the box is unpleasant."

Ed Sheeran: Nashville's gain is Britain's gain

Apparently, Ed Sheeran has upped sticks and moved off to Nashville:

Sheeran said he wanted to live somewhere that incorporates a lot of music, has a lot of countryside and a relaxed atmosphere — and isn’t filled with rude people.

“And Nashville is full of very, very nice people,” the 22-year-old said.

Sweetly, although perhaps inadvertently, Sheeran acknowledges that he's a tiny, tiny fish in a big pool:

“I don’t think people really care in Nashville,” Sheeran said. “Even if they knew who you were, I don’t think they’d care. They’d just be like, ‘Eh.’”

For Ed, it's just like home:

Sheeran said his new home reminds him of Framlingham, a rural area in England where he grew up before moving to London.

It's true. Here's Nashville:

And here's Framlingham:

Virtually impossible to tell the difference, isn't it?

[Framlingham image Nick MacNeil CC-BY-SA; Nashville Mike_tn CC-BY-NC-ND]

Grammys 2013: The winners in full

So, the defining battle of our time has been fought, and won, and now it's official:



is better than



Or, at least, Somebody That I Used To Know has bested We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together for Record Of The Year at the Grammys.

For reasons that have never been convincingly explained, of course, the 'record of the year' isn't the same thing as 'song of the year' - and here, We Are Young (or 'We Are Writing The Song So We Can Live Off The Royalties For The Next Ten Years Whenever A Lazy Montage Sequence On The TV Features People Who Are Young', to give it its full name) bested Call Me Maybe.

Yes, you read that right. The Grammys jury went with the wispy beard over the obviously great song.

The best album went to Mumford And Sons for Babel. With every high-profile award, the whole point of the band seems harder and harder to discern. They're a bit like Ben And Jerrys now - you might like to read the homespun, earth-friendly packaging, but you can't ignore that it's being dumped into cartons by Unilever.

Adele managed to get an award in a quiet year - not for Skyfall, even the Grammys wouldn't push it that far - but for a live track from Live At The Albert Hall. That sounds a bit like chearing.

Forbs tracked the people who needed a box of some sort to carry their multiple prizes:

In 2013, Dan Auerbach and the Black Keys were the biggest winners, taking home four trophies. Skrillex claimed three, as did Gotye, Jay-Z and Kayne West.

Black Keys did at least bring Dr John on for their 'surprise! we're doing a collaboration' bit, which was a way of sneaking a true legend onto prime time CBS.

At the more hackneyed end of s!wdac was Ed Sheeran coming on with Elton John, which I think makes Sheeran the new Pete Doherty.

The Wall Street Journal's description of the closing number sounds like the sort of thing that would have been tolerable if you were a bit drunk:

The show closed with another performance that brought together unlikely, if aging, pioneers of different genres. A pair of rap icons who rose to prominence in the 1980s—Chuck D, of the group Public Enemy, and LL Cool J, also the show's host—was backed by a band that included hard rock musicians from the 1990s: Guitarist Tom Morello, of Rage Against the Machine, and drummer Travis Barker of Blink-182.

As is now traditional, Chris Brown marked the event by being an enormous asshole. Dawn reports:

R&B singer Chris Brown showed up smiling at the Grammy Awards show on Sunday, saying he was just a little banged up after crashing his car into a wall on the eve of the annual music industry awards.

“Little bit of bumps, I’m good though,” Brown, 23, dressed in a white Lanvin suit, told E! News on the red carpet.

Brown crashed his Porsche into a wall in Beverly Hills on Saturday and told police he was trying to elude aggressive paparazzi.

“I’ll get another one,” Brown, laughing, told E! News on Sunday. “Insurance is good.”

Of course he's not worried about smashing his car to pieces on the way to the awards. He did the same thing to Rihanna en route a couple of years back, and that didn't cause him any problems.

Best line in all the coverage goes to the New York Times, and Ben Ratliff:

Taylor Swift opened the CBS telecast performing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” — with freaky clowns, stilt-walking experts, parasols, a large white rabbit, like a well-coordinated Burning Man happening or a late-period White Stripes photo shoot.

Without any further ado, here's the names and details of the winners:

1. RECORD OF THE YEAR
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Wally De Backer, producer; Wally De Backer & Francois Tetaz, engineers/mixers; William Bowden, mastering engineer
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic

2. ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Babel
Mumford & Sons
Markus Dravs, producer; Robin Baynton & Ruadhri Cushnan, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer
Label: Glassnote

3. SONG OF THE YEAR
We Are Young
Jack Antonoff, Jeff Bhasker, Andrew Dost & Nate Ruess, songwriters (Fun.Featuring Janelle Monáe)
Track from: Some Nights
Label: Fueled By Ramen; Publishers: WB Music, FBR Music, Bearvon Music/Rough Art/Shira Lee Lawrence Rick Music/Way Above Music/Sony ATV Songs

4. BEST NEW ARTIST
Fun.

5. BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE
Set Fire To The Rain [Live]
Adele
Track from: Live At The Royal Albert Hall
Label: XL/Columbia
6. BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic

7. BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Impressions
Chris Botti
Label: Columbia

8. BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM
Stronger
Kelly Clarkson
Label: RCA Records/19 Recordings LLC

9. BEST DANCE RECORDING
Bangarang
Skrillex Featuring Sirah
Skrillex, producer; Skrillex, mixer
Track from: Bangarang
Label: OWSLA/Big Beat/Atlantic

10. BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA ALBUM
Bangarang
Skrillex
Label: OWSLA/Big Beat/Atlantic

11. BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM
Kisses On The Bottom
Paul McCartney
Label: Hear Music

12. BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE
Lonely Boy
The Black Keys
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch

13. BEST HARD ROCK/METAL PERFORMANCE
Love Bites (So Do I)
Halestorm
Track from: The Strange Case Of…
Label: Atlantic

14. BEST ROCK SONG
Lonely Boy
Dan Auerbach, Brian Burton & Patrick Carney, songwriters (The Black Keys)
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch; Publisher: McMoore McLesst Publishing

15. BEST ROCK ALBUM
El Camino
The Black Keys
Label: Nonesuch

16. BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM
Making Mirrors
Gotye
Label: Universal Republic

17. BEST R&B PERFORMANCE
Climax
Usher
Track from: Looking 4 Myself
Label: RCA Records

18. BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE
Love On Top
Beyoncé
Track from: 4
Label: Columbia Records

19. BEST R&B SONG
Adorn
Miguel Pimentel, songwriter (Miguel)
Label: RCA/Bystorm Entertainment; Publisher: Art Dealer Chic

20. BEST URBAN CONTEMPORARY ALBUM
Channel Orange
Frank Ocean
Label: Def Jam

21. BEST R&B ALBUM
Black Radio
Robert Glasper Experiment
Label: Blue Note

22. BEST RAP PERFORMANCE
N****s In Paris
Jay-Z & Kanye West
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC

23. BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION
No Church In The Wild
Jay-Z & Kanye West Featuring Frank Ocean & The-Dream
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC

24. BEST RAP SONG
N****s In Paris
Shawn Carter, Mike Dean, Chauncey Hollis & Kanye West, songwriters (W.A. Donaldson, songwriter) (Jay-Z & Kanye West)
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records; Publishers: Hit-Boy Music/Very Good Beats, Hip Hop Since 1978, Dean’s List Productions, Unichappell Music

25. BEST RAP ALBUM
Take Care
Drake
Label: Cash Money Records

26. BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE
Blown Away
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville

27. BEST COUNTRY DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Pontoon
Little Big Town
Label: Capitol Records Nashville

28. BEST COUNTRY SONG
Blown Away
Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville; Publishers: Global Dog Music/Lunalight Music, Big Loud Songs/Angel River Songs

29. BEST COUNTRY ALBUM
Uncaged
Zac Brown Band
Label: Southern Ground/Atlantic

30. BEST NEW AGE ALBUM
Echoes Of Love
Omar Akram
Label: Real Music

31. BEST IMPROVISED JAZZ SOLO
Hot House
Gary Burton & Chick Corea, soloists
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz

32. BEST JAZZ VOCAL ALBUM
Radio Music Society
Esperanza Spalding
Label: Heads Up International
33. BEST JAZZ INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Unity Band
Pat Metheny Unity Band
Label: Nonesuch

34. BEST LARGE JAZZ ENSEMBLE ALBUM
Dear Diz (Every Day I Think Of You)
Arturo Sandoval
Label: Concord Jazz

35. BEST LATIN JAZZ ALBUM
¡Ritmo!
The Clare Fischer Latin Jazz Big Band
Label: Clare Fischer Productions/Clavo Records

36. BEST GOSPEL/CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC PERFORMANCE
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Matt Redman
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

37. BEST GOSPEL SONG
Go Get It
Erica Campbell, Tina Campbell & Warryn Campbell, songwriters (Mary Mary)
Label: Columbia; Publishers: EMI April Music, It’s Tea Tyme, That’s Plum Song, Wet Ink Red Music

38. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC SONG (TIE)
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman, songwriters (Matt Redman)
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records; Publishers: Thankyou Music/sixsteps Music/worshiptogether.com Songs/Said And Done Music/Shout! Publishing

Your Presence Is Heaven
Israel Houghton & Micah Massey, songwriters (Israel & New Breed)
Track from: Jesus At The Center Live
Label: Integrity Music; Publishers: Integrity’s Praise! Music/Sound of the New Breed, Regenerate Music

39. BEST GOSPEL ALBUM
Gravity
Lecrae
Label: Reach Records

40. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC ALBUM
Eye On It
TobyMac
Label: ForeFront Records
Come To The Well
Casting Crowns
Label: Beach Street/Reunion Records

41. BEST LATIN POP ALBUM
MTV Unplugged Deluxe Edition
Juanes
Label: Universal Music Latino

42. BEST LATIN ROCK, URBAN OR ALTERNATIVE ALBUM
Imaginaries
Quetzal
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings

43. BEST REGIONAL MEXICAN MUSIC ALBUM (INCLUDING TEJANO)
Pecados Y Milagros
Lila Downs
Label: Sony Music

44. BEST TROPICAL LATIN ALBUM
Retro
Marlow Rosado Y La Riqueña
Label: Pink Chaos Productions

45. BEST AMERICANA ALBUM
Slipstream
Bonnie Raitt
Label: Redwing Records

46. BEST BLUEGRASS ALBUM
Nobody Knows You
Steep Canyon Rangers

47. BEST BLUES ALBUM
Locked Down
Dr. John
Label: Nonesuch

48. BEST FOLK ALBUM
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile
Label: Sony Classical

49. BEST REGIONAL ROOTS MUSIC ALBUM
The Band Courtbouillon
Wayne Toups, Steve Riley & Wilson Savoy
Label: Valcour Records

50. BEST REGGAE ALBUM
Rebirth
Jimmy Cliff
Label: UMe/Sunpower

51. BEST WORLD MUSIC ALBUM
The Living Room Sessions Part 1
Ravi Shankar
Label: East Meets West Music

52. BEST CHILDREN’S ALBUM
Can You Canoe?
The Okee Dokee Brothers
Label: Okee Dokee Music LLC

53. BEST SPOKEN WORD ALBUM
Society’s Child: My Autobiography
Janis Ian
Label: Audible, Inc.

54. BEST COMEDY ALBUM
Blow Your Pants Off
Jimmy Fallon
Label: Warner Bros. Records/LoudMouth Entertainment

55. BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM
Once: A New Musical
Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti, principal soloists; Steven Epstein & Martin Lowe, producers (Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, composers/lyricists) (Original Broadway Cast With Steve Kazee, Cristin Milioti & Others)
Label: Masterworks

56. BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Midnight In Paris
(Various Artists)
Label: Madison Gate Records, Inc.

57. BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, composers
Label: Null/Madison Gate

58. BEST SONG WRITTEN FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Safe & Sound (From The Hunger Games)
T Bone Burnett, Taylor Swift, John Paul White & Joy Williams, songwriters
(Taylor Swift Featuring The Civil Wars)
Label: Big Machine Records/Universal Republic; Publishers: Sony ATV Tree Publishing, Taylor Swift Music, Sensibility Songs, Absurd Music, Shiny Happy Music, Baffle Music, Henry Burnett Music

59. BEST INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITION
Mozart Goes Dancing
Chick Corea, composer (Chick Corea & Gary Burton)
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz

60. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT
How About You
Gil Evans, arranger (Gil Evans Project)
Track from: Centennial – Newly Discovered Works Of Gil Evans
Label: ArtistShare

61. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT ACCOMPANYING VOCALIST(S)
City Of Roses
Thara Memory & Esperanza Spalding, arrangers (Esperanza Spalding)
Track from: Radio Music Society
Label: Heads Up International

62. BEST RECORDING PACKAGE
Biophilia
Michael Amzalag & Mathias Augustyniak, art directors (Björk)
Label: One Little Indian / Nonesuch

63. BEST BOXED OR SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION PACKAGE
Woody At 100: The Woody Guthrie Centennial Collection
Fritz Klaetke, art director (Woody Guthrie)
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings

64. BEST ALBUM NOTES
Singular Genius: The Complete ABC Singles
Billy Vera, album notes writer (Ray Charles)
Label: Concord

65. BEST HISTORICAL ALBUM
The Smile Sessions (Deluxe Box Set)
Alan Boyd, Mark Linett, Brian Wilson & Dennis Wolfe, compilation producers; Mark Linett, mastering engineer (The Beach Boys)
Label: Capitol Records

66. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, NON-CLASSICAL
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Richard King, engineer; Richard King, mastering engineer (Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile)
Label: Sony Classical

67. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, NON-CLASSICAL
Dan Auerbach

68. BEST REMIXED RECORDING, NON-CLASSICAL
Promises (Skrillex & Nero Remix)
Skrillex, remixer (Nero)
Joseph Ray, Skrillex & Daniel Stephens, remixers
Label: Cherry Tree/Interscope

69. BEST SURROUND SOUND ALBUM
Modern Cool
Jim Anderson, surround mix engineer; Darcy Proper, surround mastering engineer; Michael Friedman, surround producer (Patricia Barber)
Label: Premonition Records

70. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, CLASSICAL
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Tom Caulfield & John Newton, engineers; Mark Donahue, mastering engineer (Charles Bruffy & Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos

71. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, CLASSICAL
Blanton Alspaugh

72. BEST ORCHESTRAL PERFORMANCE
Adams: Harmonielehre & Short Ride In A Fast Machine
Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor (San Francisco Symphony)
Label: SFS Media

73. BEST OPERA RECORDING
Wagner: Der Ring Des Nibelungen
James Levine & Fabio Luisi, conductors; Hans-Peter König, Jay Hunter Morris, Bryn Terfel & Deborah Voigt; Jay David Saks, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)
Label: Deutsche Grammophon

74. BEST CHORAL PERFORMANCE
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Charles Bruffy, conductor (Matthew Gladden, Lindsey Lang, Rebecca Lloyd, Sarah Tannehill & Pamela Williamson; Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos

75. BEST CHAMBER MUSIC/SMALL ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE
Meanwhile
Eighth Blackbird
Label: Cedille Records

76. BEST CLASSICAL INSTRUMENTAL SOLO
Kurtág & Ligeti: Music For Viola
Kim Kashkashian
Label: ECM New Series

77. BEST CLASSICAL VOCAL SOLO
Poèmes
Renée Fleming (Alan Gilbert & Seiji Ozawa; Orchestre National De France & Orchestre Philharmonique De Radio France)
Label: Decca Records

78. BEST CLASSICAL COMPENDIUM
Penderecki: Fonogrammi; Horn Concerto; Partita; The Awakening Of Jacob; Anaklasis
Antoni Wit, conductor; Aleksandra Nagórko & Andrzej Sasin, producers
Label: Naxos

79. BEST CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL COMPOSITION
Hartke, Stephen: Meanwhile – Incidental Music To Imaginary Puppet Plays
Stephen Hartke, composer (Eighth Blackbird)
Track from: Meanwhile
Label: Cedille Records

80. BEST SHORT FORM MUSIC VIDEO
We Found Love
Rihanna Featuring Calvin Harris
Melina Matsoukas, video director; Juliette Larthe, Ben Sullivan, Candice Ouaknine & Inga Veronique video producers
Label: Def Jam

81. BEST LONG FORM MUSIC VIDEO
Big Easy Express
Mumford & Sons, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros & Old Crow Medicine Show
Emmett Malloy, video director; Bryan Ling, Mike Luba & Tim Lynch, video producers
Label: S2BN Films

Gordon in the morning: Ed Sheeran's going to the Grammys

As if the Grammys didn't drag on long enough, Ed Sheeran is going to be playing a song during it.

He's apparently got a nice suit to wear:

Ed was voted worst-dressed man of 2012 by GQ mag which has put a bit of pressure on him.

He said: “I’m going to be wearing a very posh suit to the Grammys.

“And if I run into GQ I’m just going to stick it to them. I’ve got a proper tailored suit made for me.

“If I want to be smart, I can be smart, I just really don’t care.”

Ah, so that is the type of "not caring" which involves not just going out and buying an expensive suit, but constantly talking about it and GQ.

Is it wise for Ed to put on his interview suit, though: isn't looking like he's just nipped out for a pint of milk and a Crunchie at the heart of his appeal? Stick him in a shiny two-piece, and there's a risk America is going to think "I see Mick Hucknall's been moisturising."

Gordon in the morning: Slim pickings

Ed Sheeran has been thinking about working with Eminem. He isn't going to. Not yet, anyway:

ED SHEERAN says he doesn’t want to collaborate with legendary US rapper EMINEM – because he’s not ready.

Because this is just a stumpy little piece, and because it's Gordon Smart, there's no context at all for why Sheeran might suddenly be talking about Eminem. To be fair to Ed, it looks more like he's talking about working with any of the Grammy Bunch, and Eminem was just the name he threw in as an example.

Now, let's stop being fair to Ed, shall we? Life's too short, and he says things like this:

The Suffolk lad said: “I’m going to wait until a point when I’m on a level where I can make that call, because I don’t want any leg ups now.

Wasn't all the help he got from Jamie Foxx a massive leg-up? Indeed, isn't nearly any successful music career based almost entirely on the number of leg-ups you get?

“I want to do my thing in my scene, my acoustic world, and then go over to the States.”

But you've already been to the States. Jamie Foxx? Remember?

You've got to love Sheeran's pretence that he's some sort of wandering acoustic minstrel rather than a sub-brand of Warner Music Group.

The A Team singer and Brit winner added: “I want to be able to get up to a stage where it’s not weird to ask someone like Eminem to hop on a tune.”

Asking someone to hop on a tune. He would ask Eminem to hop on a tune. Hop. On a tune.

Where be pirates?

The BBC got quite excited by the MusicMetric Digital Music Index. Very, very excited, although it somehow neglects to mention in the BBC News report that the MusicMetric work has been done apparently as part of a BBC project. The MusicMetric page does reveal the link:

As part of the BBC BitTorrent trend visualisation we have released the largest ever public data set showing trends in music on BitTorrent around the UK.

I say "reveal", although it doesn't really explain what that might mean.

On a different page, the BBC does start to suggest there could be a link:

The data, collected independently by Musicmetric and seen exclusively by the BBC, is believed to be the biggest analysis of its kind to be conducted.

If it's a BBC project, then you'd expect the data to be seen exclusively. Although MusicMetric have published the data under a Creative Commons licence so it's not that exclusive.

If the BBC is commissioning work like this, why would it pretend it's just some stuff that happens to be out there?

Anyway, that BBC excitement. There's excitement over the sheer volume of downloads in the UK:

Globally, the research suggested that the UK is a significant player on the world stage as a country of illegal music downloaders.

The country was placed second in the world in terms of pure volume of illegal activity, with Musicmetric logging 43,263,582 downloads in the first six months of this year.

The US topped the list, with 96,681,133 downloads tracked in the same period.

Italy (33,158,943), Canada (23,959,924) and Brazil (19,724,522) made up the remainder of the top five.

However, as the reports point out elsewhere, in many countries the most-torrented artist is Billy Van, who has made a choice to share his music via BitTorrent. So these figures, clearly, don't track "illegal music downloaders" at all; they mix up licenced and unlicenced downloads. And that's before you have to swallow hard at the conflation of all "illegal" downloads and activity solely on the torrents.

If the language is vague, the figures seem suspicious, too. Really? Britain is the second best at torrenting, although outstripped only two-to-one by the US?

It might be true, but I'd be more keen to accept that data if this had come from a different place - British survey finds British people (second) most active could be down to the methodology, or a cultural bias. Would a team sat in Lahore have found identical data?

When we get down to a town and artist level, things get cloudier still:

The data suggests that Ed Sheeran - with his album + - is, so far this year, the most illegally downloaded artist in 459 of the 694 cities, towns and villages covered by the research.

No. No, it really doesn't. The data tracks the most - let's use their terms - illegally downloaded albums and, certainly in the data released, that's all.

So you can say that if you take this data, +- is the most torrented album, but you can't say anything about artists. (For example, if just over half of people downloading +- download two Pink albums, too, Pink would outstrip Sheeran as most popular artist, but that wouldn't show up on this data.

And we're talking about tiny, tiny numbers here - Sheeran "won" Bath with just 57 copies snaffled; that was 0.01% of all the Bath torrents. That's pretty slim figures to build a claim on.

That's even if you accept this town-level data at all. The internet is tolerably good at knowing what country you're in, but anyone who has seen the attempts to localise adverts for dating sites and that one about the woman with the strange old trick to look younger will know, when it comes to guessing your town, the internet has all the pinpoint accuracy of a NATO strike.

So when the BBC claims:

Unlike the most recent boat race, Oxford (8,511 downloads on average per month) and Cambridge (7,217 downloads) find themselves pretty close in the piracy stakes.

It's possible all those downloads could actually have been located in Bedford.

So, pretty much dubious claim stacked on category error set upon rather thin data. Still, it's a news story, kinda, right?

The BBC Online reporting, though, is better than that spotted on South Today by icod:

lookyfrog.us/1qzvcdzmmgvbuu…

— iCod (@icod) September 17, 2012

Yes, that was Sheeran being called a "naughty boy" for, erm, having been the victim of downloaders.

Gordon in the morning: That's enough Ed

There's a really strange bit leading off Bizarre this morning, built around a letter Nick Mason has written defending the Ed Sheeran Floyd cover at the Olympic Closing Ceremony.

Gordon thinks this is one in the eye for Floyd fans who were unimpressed:

So-called Floyd fans had even turned on Ed’s teenage fans, who thought he was playing a new song at the event.

But all the abuse looks ridiculous now that the man himself has given Ed a pat on the back for his efforts on the prog-rockers’ hit Wish You Were Here. The drummer, who performed the song with Ed, Mike Rutherford from Genesis and Richard Jones of The Feeling, has sent the Suffolk star a life-affirming letter.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/4493570/Pink-Floyds-Nick-Mason-defends-Ed-Sheeran-after-fans-confuse-his-cover-of-Wish-You-Were-Here-as-a-new-song-from-singer.html#ixzz23t9dCb3x

In Gordon's mind, then, there are Pink Floyd fans who thought that Mason playing the song onstage, with Sheeran, wasn't any sign that he was happy for it to happen, but will accept it now there's a signed document.

Smart also has a bemusing reference to Mother Teresa:

IF Mother Teresa had been on Twitter, some halfwit would give her a hard time about having crap sandals.

So he appears to be comparing 'doing a cover song badly' with 'working tirelessly in the slums of Calcutta with the poor'; and, to be honest, I think most people would have been too busy asking the nun why she forced people to convert to Catholicism before helping them rather than worrying about sandals.

Perhaps most befuddling of all, though, is this:

Let's not even bother with the misspelling of "no" - so many people from Wapping are spending so much time with police and solicitors these days it's a miracle there's anyone left around to do any publishing at all - and just try and work out what the headline is supposed to mean. Isn't the point of the story that Mason hopes Sheeran fans will investigate the Floyd back catalogue, which would surely mean that we do need education? Or is ed-ucation meant to be taking a lesson from Ed? The pun would work, but would be meaningless.

It's all rather strange. But I bet Mother Theresa would be able to make sense of it all.

Gordon in the morning: Cargo hold

Oh, sweet Jesus; you're enjoying yourself in America only to open the newspapers and find that Ed Sheeran's there, too.

You drag yourself back across at the Atlantic, and he's over here too.

Still, there's one piece of good news: Delta have tried to help us all by silencing Sheeran:

He took to Twitter after an American airline misplaced his prized guitars.

He wrote: “So after Delta messing up the flight over here, they have lost both guitars. Bring back Cyril and Nigel.”

Ed needs the boys back sharpish because he’s performing at Radio 1’s Hackney Weekend tomorrow.

Perhaps the guitars ran away?

Gordon headlines the story "Sheeran incompetence", although I suspect staff at Delta knew exactly what they were doing.

Brits 2012: There are some categories that Adele cannot qualify for

A world where Ed Sheeran and Noel Gallagher are measured against each other feels less like a glittering awards ceremony and more like some sort of triage event.

My advice would be to not look at the 'best British single' category, which contains such miseries as to cause Mr Happy to stare blankly into the future muttering "I hope the Mayans are right".

There's a couple of surprises - the appearance of Lady Antebellum in the 'international band category' is so ill-judged it's like when you get one of those paid-for Tweets from Zoosk popping up in your Twitter stream.

And Chase And Status does at least offer a rare indication that the Brit awards judges have noticed that it's no longer 1982, even though they're so unlikely to win their name appears on the shortlist in pencil.

The Adele v PJ Harvey battle in best British album is perhaps the first time in years there's been a genuinely interesting clash in any category.

PJ Harvey releases one of the best albums of the year, and yet isn't considered one of the best female solo artists of the year; likewise, Kate Bush - who didn't tour, nor played live - is one of the best female solo artists, but her record isn't good enough for the album shortlist. Curious.

The shortlist in full, then:

British Male Solo Artist
Ed Sheeran
James Blake
James Morrison
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
Professor Green

British Female Solo Artist
Adele
Florence & the Machine
Jessie J
Kate Bush
Laura Marling

British Breakthrough Act
Anna Calvi
Ed Sheeran
Emeli Sandé
Jessie J
The Vaccines

British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Chase & Status
Coldplay
Elbow
Kasabian

British Single
Adele - Someone Like You
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Example - Changed The Way You Kissed Me
Jessie J ft Bob - Price Tag
JLS ft Dev - She Makes Me Wanna
Military Wives/Gareth Malone - Wherever You Are
Olly Murs ft Rizzle Kicks - Heart Skips A Beat
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Pixie Lott - All About Tonight
The Wanted - Glad You Came

British Album of the Year
Adele - 21
Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto
Ed Sheeran - +
Florence & The Machine - Ceremonials
PJ Harvey - Let England Shake

International Male Solo Artist
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Bruno Mars
David Guetta
Ryan Adams

International Female Solo Artist
Beyoncé
Bjork
Feist
Lady Gaga
Rihanna

International Group
Fleet Foxes
Foo Fighters
Jay Z/ Kanye West
Lady Antebellum
Maroon 5

International Breakthrough Act
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Foster The People
Lana Del Rey
Nicki Minaj

Outstanding Contribution to Music
WINNER:
Blur

Critics Choice
1st - Emeli Sandé
2nd - Maverick Sabre
3rd - Michael Kiwanuka

British Producer
Paul Epworth
Flood
Ethan Johes