One Direction: Capital Radio really are big babies

Back when the Brits happened, and One Direction got confused and thanked Radio One for a prize voted for by Capital FM listeners, Capital vowed that One Direction were dead to them.

At the time, I raised a curious eyebrow. Would a pop radio station really be so bitter as to not play songs by one of the biggest bands for their target audience?

Turns out, yes. Capital really are holding a grudge, regardless of how self-damaging it might be, and how petty it makes them seem:

Figures from Compare My Radio provided to Radio Today show that in the period between 1st January and 21st February this year, 95.8 Capital FM in London played ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ 50 times and follow-up single ‘One Thing’ twice. That works out on average at one play of the band every day. Between 22 February and 18 April the station hasn’t played a single One Direction track, according to the monitoring by Compare My Radio which takes information from ‘Now Playing’ feeds.

When the group’s album became the first ever debut release by a British act to go straight in at the top the US charts, news bulletins on Capital didn’t mention it – despite many of their rival stations highlighting one of the biggest UK music successes in America since The Beatles.

All because One Direction aren't the fizziest drinks in the cupboard. There are Jewish grandmothers suggesting that Capital might need to stop playing the victim so much.

James Corden appeals for calm over Adele truncation

Although nearly everyone in the world has forgotten the bit at the Brits when James Corden punched Adele, threw her awards to the ground and yelled "it's ALLLLLL-BAAAAAAARRRRRRN", Corden hasn't.

He wants us to remember, so that we can heal and forget:

"She's fine, I've never known such a non thing to become a thing, ever."

It's such a non-thing he had to mention it while presenting Sport Relief, and now is at it again. But it's a non-thing.

"I've done a lot of press [in the US] in the last few weeks and no-one's mentioned it. I think they realised that someone didn't get to say 'Thank you' long enough and maybe thought it wasn't huge news."

It's possible that all that press you've been doing in the US might have been with people not considering it to be a non-story, but people who are unaware of the Brits Awards, and unaware that this James Corbind they're talking to might have been something to do with it. It's a bit like Cameron trotting home thinking the Burmese press not asking about Peter Cruddas means the scandal has passed.

Brits 2012: Adele was cut short; the story not so

After James Corden's producer-enforced stage-rush to shut her up, ITV are hoping Adele will accept their apology:

"The Brits is a live event. Unfortunately the programme was over-running and we had to move on. We would like to apologise to Adele for the interruption."

Yes, it's a live event. That, surely, is the point? Is there any point in showing a programme, constantly chanting 'the most important award of the evening is the best album award', and then rushing the presentation of that prize?

Yes, Blur were about to come on - but they didn't finish their set on ITV1 anyway; given that there was already going to be an awkward mid-song bungle off to ITV2, could a couple of minutes not been found for Adele?

In fact, was it really so important to scramble to keep ITV on schedule? Yes, pushing the News At Ten back to the News At Five Past Ten might have been awkward, but would it have been that bad? The delay would have knocked on through the rest of the schedule - but what delights did ITV have lined up?

A repeat of Benidorm.
A repeat of The Cube.
Some sort of gambling show.

Could it have been what ITV was really worried about was missing the start of the junction for that, Jackpot 247? Was the concern that letting Adele say "cheers" would have delayed the network's attempts to separate fools and money?

Lily Allen senses another motivation:

"I'd rather hear adeles acceptance speech," she tweeted after the incident, adding, "I can't say I'm surprised [it was cut off]. It was like the music industry's attitude to women played out as a metaphor."

Up to a point. More like the attitude to musicians. It's all just content, and must be cut to fit the gaps between the sales points.

Brits 2012: I imagine this is how Capital think they'll claw back their investment

Awkard on Tuesday when One Direction thanked Radio One for the Brit award organised for them by Capital Radio. Not sure, though, I'm buying this as a genuine response, albeit appearing in MediaGuardian:

Global Radio boss Ashley Tabor and his director of programming Richard Park, who were at the Brits, were both said to be upset by the incident.

An appearance by One Direction planned for Wednesday on Capital was dropped. The band are also understood to have been bumped down the station's playlist with their music said to be conspicuous only by its absence this morning.

"One Direction as far as Capital are concerned are only going in one direction," said one industry source.

Oh, sure, there'll be some pouting and foot-stomping, but do we really believe that - having polled their audience to find out their favourite band - Capital will then drop that band?

Or will they just make a fuss and stick out a press release to try and wring a bit more publicity from the sponsorship deal in light of all the fuss?

Gordon in the morning: Adele, interrupted

For Gordon, one story outshines all the others from last night's Brits: The shoddy shambles at the end.

He sets a small team to cover the cutting short of Adele:

By GORDON SMART, STUART PINK, CAROLINE McGUIRE and TIM NIXON

No, really, it does take four people to bring the story. The multiple byline isn't a bid to try and convince the finance department the paper really needed to send all those people to the O2.

It was, in case you missed it, a shambles:

FURIOUS Adele makes a one-fingered gesture last night after she was "cut off" making a speech at the Brit Awards.
[...]
Later she said the insult was aimed at "the suits" putting together the show — screened live on ITV1. She said backstage: "I flipped the finger but it wasn't to my fans. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, it was the suits that offended me."

The seething singer was later said to have stormed out of the venue, London's O2 Arena.

What a nightmare, eh? You'd hate to be the poor saps who sponsored the bit of the night that went to pot.

Oddly, this year, Gordon seems to have neglected to mention how his column was sponsoring the Best Album prize. Normally he's so proud of that.

Brits 2012: The Liveblog

6.24pm
Pancake night. The day when you use up all your ingredients that are about to go stale. The night when people will applaud the biggest and best tossers. The perfect night for the Brit Awards 2012.

With a shudder, I've realised that this is only the second of James Corden's three-year contract. Last year he did it without any attempt at humour, which at least showed he knows his limits. This year, in the gaps between promoting his autobiography, Corden has been claiming that he's discovered humility. He's put the way the nation cooled on him as being down to "the work not being good enough", which might mean that he's going to be trying a lot harder tonight. It's a frightening prospect.

We know that the show is going to end with eleven minutes of Blur. There was a time when the prospect of Blur doing eleven minutes on live TV would have filled me with delight and butterflies. But at that point, I would also have felt the same about buying pvc trousers or going into work with a hickey. For Alex James' sake, lets use a food metaphor: Blur have become like a quirky restuarant that have spun out into being a chain. The dishes might have the same name, but it doesn't quite taste the same.

It's twenty years since the KLF/ Extreme Noise Terror showstopper. Back then, Sir George Solti walked out in disgust, which might strike you as the sort of thing the Brits should be doing. Tonight, his ghost has already appeared on ITV2 telling Fearne Cotton he's really looking forward to Blur's appearance: "I hope they do a medley with Boys And Girls in it" he said, "and that they bring on an unexpected female vocalist as a guest."

What else can we expect? Clearly, part of the plan tonight is to try and make Jessie J as big a global star as Adele. Is that going to work? Isn't the idea of selling J to America a bit like selling Canadian cheddar in Somerset - there's going to be some takers who don't care that much, and it'll fill a sandwich, but really: why would you?

In case there are some of you who think that the Brits are some sort of anti-establishment howl of rebellious joy, I direct you to this tweet:

So much to see @Brit_Awards 2nite. Britschools' @officialadele, 11min performance from @blurofficial & all hosted by @JKCorden #shabbatronic

Yes, that's minister of state Jeremy 'Rhyming' Hunt throwing a shabbatronic hashtag into his timeline.

Jeremy Hunt saying "shabbatronic". For two hours. That'd be your Brits.

I'll be back at eight in a semi-official observer role. May the Lord have mercy on us all. (Refresh for updates, but not until about 7.45 as I'm going to have Nachos.)
7.52
ITV is currently showing a very dull programme about extreme fishing. Is this any way to prepare the nation for Coldplay?

(The nation responds that it's watching EastEnders, thanks very much.)

7.55
The Webuyanycar ad is on. This might be the best song we hear for the next two hours.

8.00
"This is the Brit Awards 2012, and this is Coldplay." Oh, god, just 120 minutes to get through.

8.01
Chris Martin looks like a recruitment ad for the marines from a nation that isn't too fussy. And so much dayglo.

8.03
Didn't Gordon Smart promise us Noel Gallagher? Was he hiding?

James Corden has come on. "How amazing were Coldplay?" he asks. Well, I suppose they set the bar low enough.

Jesus, that Brit Award looks like something from a disappointing Happy Meal.

First of the 'best album' packages is up, for Adele. Oh, we're getting a bit of talky stuff about how it was made. Adele is doing her best to make everyone forget why they took her to their hearts.

8.05
We're onto a Whitney bit. We've all been shocked, apparently.

Sure, it's nice to remember Whitney, but what about all the other artists who've died in the last twelve months? Is there a qualifying amount before you your death matters?

8.07
Second performance before we've even given out a prize. It's Florence And The Machine. Good to see the Brits keeping faith with Florence, even although, frankly, she's already fizzled out. Mainly through the over-exposure that her too-soon appearance at the Brits generated.

She's wearing a dress made out of solid gold, and accompanied by an entire Greek temple of dancers.

8.09
ITV Player has fallen over completely. Nice chance for the commercial network to show off its technical chops, eh?

Actually, this Florence performance would be a great entry for Eurovision. If we were Ukraine.

8.10
ITV Player comes back to life, with the QDOT strobing away in the corner. No prizes given out, but they're already running late.

What the hell is this frightening commercial? Mark Ronson, gymnasts, a vague song about "anywhere in the world" where we're "moving to the beat"? And table tennis? It can only be Coca-Cola throwing the kitchen sink into its Olympic campaign.

8.13
@dillpickle points out MyloXyloto sounds like something they add to sugar-free gum.

ITV taking the opportunity of the influx of a large audience to remind people they're the official broadcaster of Celebrity Juice.

First prize: Corden gets a chance to slobber over Kylie again (remember 2009?) as she comes out for best British Adele. Sorry, female solo artist.

Jessie J gets more cheers than Adele, though. Perhaps Adele isn't the sort of person you cheer?

Luckily Adele can be here to pick up the award, otherwise it'd be quite an awkward evening in prospect.

8.16
Fearne Cotton doesn't appear to have a role in this year's events, which must be the first time since about 2003. Should we send a search party?

Jessie J and Jack Whitehall come on for International Man prizegiving - Guetta, Blacc, Adams, Iver, Mars. Mars is here tonight. I wonder who'll win?

8.18
Bruno Mars. WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED?

Well, at least he's not wearing his stupid hat. Perhaps he would if his hair wasn't so large. Maybe there was a struggle backstage to get his stupid hat onto that stack of hair.

Corden says there's "still an incredible performance to come from him". Predicting the future, James?

Who was the bloke walking past Corden mid-flow? Had he spotted Olly Murs coming on stage and thought "that's it, I'm off"?

8.20
They've more or less flooded the stage with women in red clothes. They should have tried actually flooding the stage.

Oh, god, Murs is pulling moves. Jeremy Hunt must be having the night of his life.

Critics Choice awards, which are going to Emelie Sande. Given she's already been in the MasterCard breakbumpers, isn't she a bit beyond the new act accolades?

Corden celebrates the prize by, erm, talking to Jessie J, who thinks we care about if she's judging or coaching on The Voice. James is settling down and starting to try some jokes, which is ill-judged.

Ed Sheeran - a man who would be too bland and limp for a guest slot on Alphabet Zoo - is giving the ITV regions a chance to line up the next advert break.

8.30
Lego House. And to think they used to say The Field Mice were twee.

Oh - an advert for The New News Of The World.

8.33
Over on Twitter, OneDirection fans are getting tetchy - they're keen to hear the winner of best single, and are hoping it'll come before their bedtime.

British single, voted for by you (as in us) the "fans".

Mr. Tempah is out to give this one out. He's reminding us that he won a prize last year, perhaps to try and point out that he's not getting anything this year.

They're running through a list of songs that would persuade any sane person to uninstall iTunes. And probably rip out their soundcard.

Pixie Lott still makes records, does she? That's a surprise.

So, block voting has delivered a prize to One Direction.

8.36
That's what happens with sort-of-democracy. They should have had the vote using pens and postcards. That'd have hit their share of the vote.

One Direction say the award is for the fans. But they're the ones who voted for the award.

One of them thanks Radio One. Awkward, given it was Capital who sponsored the prize and did the voting.

They mumble on for about three hours, until Corden shoves them off.

Next, International Female - last year I think this was the prize Lewis Hamilton gave out. They've moved down a gear this year and gone for walking slumber Jensen Button.

8.38
Rihanna wins. Hey - that's lucky, as she's here to do a song anyway. What a happy coincidence.

To be fair, James Corden isn't having such a bad night tonight. Although there's no reason why Corden has to be doing the job, as he's not exactly doing anything a semi-competent chap from HR could have turned in.

Ed Sheeran's album bit has just floated by, before Corden says "what an honor" to introduce Noel Gallagher.

I wish I hadn't fed the cats already. This would have been a good time to do that.

8.41
The drumming High Flying Bird looks like he's off to do a stint as Estragon once he's finished here.

Chris Martin has turned up to play piano on this. His style is reminiscent of Rowlf from The Muppets.

8.46
This from GarethAveyard on Twitter:

Ed Fucking Sheeran - "Yeah, well, I started writing songs after I first saw that http://match.comadvert last year." #Brits

Capital advert on: "let's make some hits". Unfortunately straight after their ad it cuts to another with the words "no wonder they're bored."

8.49
On twitter: @guanoman:

Is there really any need for Olly Murs and Bruno Mars to be separate people? This just seems decadently inefficient to me.

8.51
Oh, Amy Winehouse. I was genuinely sat there going 'who is he talking about' as Corden was lining this up.

Again, nice to remember Amy - and where better than in a room full of representatives of the industry that showed such a duty of care to her - but what about the others?

8.54
Plan B. There seems to have been a strange decision that anyone who played last year has to give out a prize this. Although I suspect Imelda May might still be waiting for a call.

We're going to have best solo artist. Surely they won't be as crass as to give it to Noel for turning up, will they?

8.56
Nope, it's gone to Ed. Who also, erm, did a performance.

They're trying to justify the prize - which frankly people will stare at in five years time on Wikipedia and go 'who was that again' - by quoting how many Twitter followers he has. Because remember kids, the more spambots you attract, the better a musician you are.

8.57
Jo Whiley - who, by law, has to appear at any music awards ceremony on the British mainland - has come on with Huey for Best Group.

Listeners from Radio 2 voted for this one, so it's a chance to disprove that stuffy, fusty, old-fashioned image, right?

No. They give it to Coldplay.

9.00
Half way through.

@AidanJohnMoffat:

Now I know that Plan B's at the Brits I wish I'd bought all those tonnes of fertiliser like I'd planned.

The appearance of the short video for Let England Shake in the midst of this show is a bit like Newsround suddenly pausing for an op ed by George Galloway.

Music that is about things.

The O2 falls quiet; Corden tries to chase away the appearance of thoughts with a PJ and Duncan joke.

Oh, and there's a pointless bit between him and Kylie. It's like when Jools Holland wanders into the audience, only with a bit more sexual awkwardness.

9.02
Of course everyone loves Kylie, but hasn't her work this year mainly been a car advert that appears to have been written before they'd decided who would appear in it?

Adele has the performance she did for the Grammys ready to roll again.

9.05
I wonder if this will sell any copies of 21 for her? If anyone at all is sat at home going 'this is a lovely song... I wonder if it's out on record to buy yet?'

9.06
We've still got the threat of Bruno Mars hanging over us.

The VirginMedia buffering ad doesn't really work when you're, erm, watching it online.

9.10
"Take Me Out. Exclusive to ITV1." Although I suspect Challenge TV are clearing a gap in their 2013 schedule.

Corden's started to edge towards irritating again - "I'm kidding." No, you're not.

He said it was Brian May and Roger Taylor, but it looks like my Aunt Lena and Bill Oddie have come on stage.

International Group. Any shortlist featuring Maroon 5 isn't worth winning. No wonder the Foo Fighters couldn't be arsed to turn up to pick it up.

9.13
Some footballer and Nicole Searchinlookinforlove are handing out the breakthrough act prize. Really? A footballer?

The Vaccines aren't going to win this, are they?

9.15
Ed Sheeran has taken the breakthrough act, which makes sense given we're supposed to believe he is the best British Male solo artist currently working in the country. I say "makes sense", but you know what I mean.

"A big night he'll never forget" says Corden. Like the rest of us, he's picturing Ed in 2020, finishing his shift at the kennels, remembering that time he was apparently the biggest star in Britain.

Oh, I get it: Bruno Mars is a KD Lang tribute act. Now it makes sense.

9.18
No, really, I don't get it. Bruno Mars is like a generic 'pop star' created in Happy Days for Joanie to have a crush on, but because he'll only be on-screen for thirty seconds, they don't bother to flesh him out with a character or backstory or even really bother to write much more than half a chorus for him to sing.

9.20
"They're on their feet in here, and I'm not surprised" says Corden. Yeah, I'd have chosen that point to nip out to the toilets, too.

Florence is now telling us about her album and how she made it and everything. Her sounds are dramatic and overwhelming and conflicted, apparently. And not Arcade Fire Made Simple.

9.22
James Corden is now sat at a table with One Direction. There are fingerpainting tables in nursery schools that offer more intellectual challenge.

Corden pisses himself laughing at his own joke about Harry OneDirection "stepping out with Denise Welch". Let's just say a small prayer of thanks that he hasn't peppered his script with similar - ah - material.

Ooh, another break. I see GoCompare do home insurance now.

"I'm quite fussy..." Although not so fussy as to avoid shopping at Asda, I see.

Shit, watching TV live is horrible, isn't it?

9.27
ITV suddenly decide, three quarters of the way through, to warn people there might be flashing lights.

A bit more warning about Bruno Mars might have been nice, mind.

Rob Brydon and Will I Am come on together to do International Breakthrough. Because they're a crazy mismatched pair, do you see?

How did Foster The People get shortlisted here? Was it part of the horsetrading to allow Warners to take over HMV?

Lana Del Ray wins this, of course, because the team behind her had actually started from 'winning awards' and worked backwards.

Voiceover woman claims - wrongly - that Del Ray "likes to call herself the Gangsta Nancy Sinatra". Because why would you bother fact-checking your script for the biggest music night of the year, eh?

Del Ray thanks her label. BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEY TOLD HER TO.

9.31
Rihanna's doing her performance now, every second thinking "shit, in two or three more years I'm going to be reduced to only getting a slot sat next to Corden while he mock-flirts with me."

Still, the set's quite nice, people in plastic cubes flinging paint at each other. I expect that's going to be a tribute to the Stone Roses reunion, is it?

9.35
I could check on Lyrics.com, but I'm content to believe Rihanna is singing "we found love in our halter place."

James does a period joke.

Ray Winstone has come on to do the 'Prize given to a band we'd like to perform but won't come if we don't give them an impressive sounding prize' prize. Which this year goes to Blur.

In the production suite, they're currently going 'Phil Daniels! That was the chap we were thinking of to do the prize giving. Dammit.' Or possibly 'is Ray Winstone and Phil Daniels different people, then?'

9.37
If Dave Rowntree had managed to win a seat for Labour at the last election, would we be seeing this reunion now?

Alex James is standing staring emptily into space. Which was the style he used to use when playing the bass, if memory serves.

Ray Winstone is standing at the back of the stage like the mayor of a small market town wondering if he's made the wrong choice for the Christmas light switch-on.

9.42
If I'd known in 2012 Damon would be rambling on like this for ages and ages, I'd have worried less about the Liverpool Poly amps looking like they'd fall on his head.

9.43
Jesus, haven't we got through the album nominees yet? And they've saved the Coldplay for last.

Hadn't noticed this category is sponsored by Daybreak and Gordon Smart's column. It's like a toxic dump for fatally wounded media brands.

Ah, Vodafone have spent some of the money they stole from us in taxes to buy an ad break during the Brits.

9.45
They're trailing the News At Ten - that's still going, too, apparently.

The album award is being handed out by George Michael. I think, to close some sort of circle, this means Norman Tebbit has won.

George is only slightly slurring his words, claiming he came back from Australia because he knows who won. Presumably Adele owes him a tenner or something?

Coldplay dressed as elephants. That never fails to make me look more kindly on ivory poachers.

Of course Adele has won. And, to be fair, it's hard to see how she couldn't have won this one.

(Although Ed really looks like he thought he was going to win it.)

9.51
"I'm so proud to be British and flying our flag". Corden cuts her off. Because, yeah, that's the point you want to be worrying about timings, not when you're doing an interview with One Direction.

9.52
Well, the ghost of Sir George Solti is delighted they've started with Girls And Boys. "Something of a surprise, no?" he giggles.

It's odd that Alex James is still able to play following the smoking ban.

The producers find Louis Spence in the audience, like men determined to clobber the very last credibility the Brits might have had left in them.

9.55
So, will ITV let the show overrun and hold up the News At Ten? Or are the network saying 'let's see if the next one is off the Justine Frischmann break-up album, and if it is, we'll go straight to ITN."

9.57
Over on Twitter, there's a bit of a storm at Corden cutting off Adele. Yes, ITV might have a schedule to keep to, but if it was the Champions League that was edging towards 10pm, they don't send Adrian Chiles on to grab the ball and close things down, do they?

On the other hand, they would have to fill some dead time on ITV2 while waiting for the main programme to finish. So you can sort of see their point.

10.00
Phil Daniels and Park Life rather than Ken Livingstone, then.

That's it; fading away with Blur still on the stage. Doing the amazing performance that ITV and its hosts have been telling us would blow us away all evening. That one.

The Brits done for another year, then. See you back here next year?

By the way, does anyone remember Mumford And Sons?

Bookmarks: Brits 2012

Peter Robinson looks forward to tonight's event:

A win for Kasabian prompts the TV voiceover artiste to make some sort of reference to the resurgence of guitar music, conflating guitar music with authenticity along the way.

Gordon in the morning: The Brits countdown

Tomorrow night is Brits night, the traditional evening when the eyes of the world are on the UK music scene. Until the world starts to stab itself in the eye with a mascara pencil to make it all stop.

As part of the exciting build-up to the exciting event, James 'surely this one is the last one under that ridiculous contract' Corden is talking things up with Gordon. Apparently it'll be exciting because Corden's got a bad knee.

Yes, the most thrilling backstage prep is a cortisone injection.

This just in: the eyes of the world have sent their apologies, but they've got some emulsion desiccant they've got to see in action.

Gordon in the morning: Fair warning

Exciting times at Wapping as Rupert Murdoch arrives, announcing plans to relaunch the News Of The World under a slightly different name. For too long, we've not known the contents of dead girl's telephones; thank Christ Murdoch is going to put that right.

Still, it's easy to knock this latest escalation of hubris - is superhubris a thing? - but sometimes Gordon and The Sun does provide a valuable public service. Not just by providing enough journalists suspected of criminal wrongdoing to keep dozens of police in work, but also by offering warnings like this one:

Chris Martin and Noel Gallagher team up for Brits

In other words: keep your remote controls close, to save having to dive for the off-switch.

Gordon in the morning: Corden in the morning

One of the poorer decisions the Brits organisers have made in recent years - besides 'let's do it next year, yes? With the same shortlists?' - was locking in James Corden as host for years and years and years.

To be fair, they are sticking with the pledge and bringing him back to die painfully on ITV for a couple of hours. Which is fascinating, given how the rest of the music industry will dump contracts at the first sniff of underperformance.

It's good news for Gordon, though, who - you'll recall - clutched his sides with delight at Corden's bon mots.

Gordon and Corden caught up at the Brits launch, where James took the chance to show off his musical chops:

He said at the nominations bash: "Damon is a shining light in British culture so I always get slightly starstruck.

"It will be an honour to be in the same room as him.

"Blur winning their Outstanding Contribution award will be special.

"There hasn't been a more important band."

There hasn't been a more important band than Blur? I mean, I like Blur. Like most people, I've stood in a draughty Polytechnic hall thinking "if he brings that sodding speakerstack down on our heads, I'm not going to be happy" and have enjoyed their work ever since. I wouldn't even argue against the idea that they've been a significant band. I don't begrudge the prize they're being given in order to get a couple of songs from them to close the show.

But there hasn't ever been a more important band? It's a bit like thinking that Stephen Fry is the greatest public intellectual of our times.

Brits 2012: There are some categories that Adele cannot qualify for

A world where Ed Sheeran and Noel Gallagher are measured against each other feels less like a glittering awards ceremony and more like some sort of triage event.

My advice would be to not look at the 'best British single' category, which contains such miseries as to cause Mr Happy to stare blankly into the future muttering "I hope the Mayans are right".

There's a couple of surprises - the appearance of Lady Antebellum in the 'international band category' is so ill-judged it's like when you get one of those paid-for Tweets from Zoosk popping up in your Twitter stream.

And Chase And Status does at least offer a rare indication that the Brit awards judges have noticed that it's no longer 1982, even though they're so unlikely to win their name appears on the shortlist in pencil.

The Adele v PJ Harvey battle in best British album is perhaps the first time in years there's been a genuinely interesting clash in any category.

PJ Harvey releases one of the best albums of the year, and yet isn't considered one of the best female solo artists of the year; likewise, Kate Bush - who didn't tour, nor played live - is one of the best female solo artists, but her record isn't good enough for the album shortlist. Curious.

The shortlist in full, then:

British Male Solo Artist
Ed Sheeran
James Blake
James Morrison
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
Professor Green

British Female Solo Artist
Adele
Florence & the Machine
Jessie J
Kate Bush
Laura Marling

British Breakthrough Act
Anna Calvi
Ed Sheeran
Emeli Sandé
Jessie J
The Vaccines

British Group
Arctic Monkeys
Chase & Status
Coldplay
Elbow
Kasabian

British Single
Adele - Someone Like You
Ed Sheeran - The A Team
Example - Changed The Way You Kissed Me
Jessie J ft Bob - Price Tag
JLS ft Dev - She Makes Me Wanna
Military Wives/Gareth Malone - Wherever You Are
Olly Murs ft Rizzle Kicks - Heart Skips A Beat
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Pixie Lott - All About Tonight
The Wanted - Glad You Came

British Album of the Year
Adele - 21
Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto
Ed Sheeran - +
Florence & The Machine - Ceremonials
PJ Harvey - Let England Shake

International Male Solo Artist
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Bruno Mars
David Guetta
Ryan Adams

International Female Solo Artist
Beyoncé
Bjork
Feist
Lady Gaga
Rihanna

International Group
Fleet Foxes
Foo Fighters
Jay Z/ Kanye West
Lady Antebellum
Maroon 5

International Breakthrough Act
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Foster The People
Lana Del Rey
Nicki Minaj

Outstanding Contribution to Music
WINNER:
Blur

Critics Choice
1st - Emeli Sandé
2nd - Maverick Sabre
3rd - Michael Kiwanuka

British Producer
Paul Epworth
Flood
Ethan Johes