Popular music might have just died

Remember when pop stars used to swish around, doing interesting and exciting stuff?

Remember when you wanted to be a pop star?

Remember that?

Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith have a bet on to see who can lose a stone in weight fastest.

It gets worse:

According to sources, 6ft 2in Stay With Me singer Sam, 22 – who has ­struggled with his weight since childhood – has enlisted the help of a hypnotist and top Harley Street nutritionist.

This is meant to be pop. It sounds like a b-story from Downton Abbey.