Gordon does find some space in his column for something approaching news this morning: Apparently, Mitch Winehouse slapped Pete Doherty backstage at Winehouse's Brixton show last week:
“Pete was smirking until Mitch turned and whacked him.”
Gordon - who has the air of a man who sometimes watches that cage-fighting thing - embraces this vigilantism:
The courts have not bothered to punish him properly and he keeps leading people astray.
So I was delighted to hear that AMY WINEHOUSE’s old man has done what most of us have wanted to do for ages - and lamped the junkie singer.
Not, of course, that Gordon is happy with just a bit of a slap:
You never know when a taxi might suddenly appear.
Is it really appropriate for a journ... well, a writer, to suggest jokily that someone should be run over?