The organisers of the Grammys are getting a bit jumpy at the prospect of their 50th glittering event being run aground by the Hollywood writer's strike. The Writers Guild of America is lobbying artists to not show up for the event; the Recording Academy is hoping it can keep the ship afloat.
They've got some support: The American Federation of Musicians (AFM) and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) have issued a heartfelt plea to writers to let the Grammys flow:
Because, of course, the music industry's annual back-slap is on a par with an event run by, and for, a civil rights organisation. We can see the same principle should apply.
It's not just an awards ceremony. Oh, no. It's important work. Apparently, between the best Polka album and the best spoken-word album not featuring Larry King categories, they're going to really get cracking on finding a cure for cancer.
Not quite getting the idea of how a strike works, Recording Academy President and CEO Neil Portnow has suggested writers should get involved for their own benefit:
If only Thatcher had tried that with the miners - "come and dig some coal for the electricity industry, Mr Scargill, which will allow you to earn some money and allow us to show support for your withdrawal of labour."
Perhaps we're being unfair - maybe Portnow has plans for some sort of musical salute to striking writers. Possibly Prince and Beyonce dancing on a giant typewriter keyboard.
Wonderfully, Portnow attempts to use the RIAA's pursual of file-sharers to show that everyone's in this one together:
Let's not mention that many of the record labels are part of the same companies which are attempting to bilk the writers in the first place ("Universal are on your side... well, apart from the movie and television divisions...") and instead wonder exactly how 'companies trying to struggle cash from consumers for digital music' are in the same battle as 'writers trying to get their cut from the cash companies are already taking from consumers of digital video'. Besides sharing some of the same words.
Portnow concludes by arguing on behalf not just of children, or Americans, but the whole world:
We've been struggling for years to work out what unit you measured hope and optimism in; who knew it was "millions of dollars of sales".
We're sure that 'please let us advertise our product on the television' is exactly the way to hit the striking writers' hearts.