Gordon in the morning: Crisis after crisis

It's a busy day for Showbiz news in The Sun, with Peaches Geldof's alleged overdose calling upon the talents of three writers:

By RICHARD WHITE
Showbiz Reporter
VIRGINIA WHEELER
and VINCE SOODIN

and demanding a think-piece from another

My View
By SALLY BROOK
Woman Editor

Why do you need an opinion column about a young woman having an overdose? Isn't it self-explanatory that it's a terrible thing? Brook is reduced to imagining the worst:

Bob Geldof has spent much of his life helping people around the world less fortunate than himself.

It’s not his anger she should worry about if the worst happens.

It’s the broken heart from which he would never recover.

This - besides being mawkish - doesn't make any sense, because if Peaches did manage to kill herself on drugs, it goes without saying that she wouldn't need to be bothered about how angry Geldof Senior would be. What with how she'd be dead.

Bob looms over the main report, too:

Other sources confirmed that Peaches was terrified of Sir Bob finding out.

One said: “No one could believe this has happened to Sir Bob Geldof’s daughter..."

Really? Your friend collapses and your first thought is "goodness, I can't believe she's overdosed because her Dad was in the Boomtown Rat?"

Meanwhile, Gordon concentrates on Madonna who is, we're told, "in meltdown". Meltdown?

The Queen Of Pop has sacked two dancers and her tour manager is threatening to walk out over her spectacular moods.

Isn't that business as usual, more or less?

But there's more:

Doctors discovered Madge is anaemic, a surefire sign she is overdoing it, and she also suffered a painful knee injury.

Anaemia is a sign of iron deficiency, Gordon, which may or may not be due to overdoing but much more often is down to not eating enough iron, B12 and folic acid in your diet. Rather than a surefire sign she's "overdoing it", it could just as easily be a sign that she needs to eat some more spinach.

Gahan insists: it was an accidental OD

Apparently Dave Gahan is annoyed that people still put his drugs OD down to a suicide attempt when, really, he just was rubbish at measuring out his drugs:

"I'm painfully aware that was not what I was trying to do. All I was trying to do was disappear for a while, and that became a lost weekend."

Yeah, it must really irritate that people think you took a speedball to kill yourself rather than just because there was nothing on HBO that evening.

Ice Turner

According to TMZ, the coroner of San Diego County is reporting that Ike Turner's death was drug-related:

Paul Parker, Chief Investigator at the Medical Examiner's Office, said, "We are listing that he abused cocaine, and that's what resulted in the cocaine toxicity."

Hmm. It seems to have taken a surprising length of time for a coroner to conclude that a coke addict, found dead with cocaine in his blood stream, was probably killed by the cocaine poisoning caused by taking cocaine.