Gordon in the morning: Tulisa flicks the Cs

Uh-oh. A video has got Tulisa into trouble. Not that video. This is one she filmed with Nines in London, during the course of which she made a C-symbol.

Gordon has one interpretation of what that might mean:

The sign is used by members of notorious north-west London gang Crime Scene Boys, also known as the Church Road Soldiers, who have been linked to gun violence and drug dealing.

Tulisa offers another view:

“I filmed a street video on Sunday night for a track on my album.

“The video was a collaboration with the rapper Nines. When we were filming on the street loads of other people turned up and joined in the shoot.

“When I was holding my hands in the C sign, this was as a tribute to Camden, my home town and where N-Dubz began.

“I am not aware that this sign has anything to with any street gang and I 100 per cent do not endorse any gang violence in any form.”

The truth, you'd suspect, starts in the last line - I don't think anyone is going to think that for some reason Tulisa would have been stood in Harlesden suddenly showing love for Camden; apparently Nines throws the C sign into his videos as a matter of course - I suspect Tulisa was just trying to fit in.

I do love the idea of her strained management team desperately trying to come up with another meaning for the C:
"How about Cowell? No?"
"Chocolate?"
"Could we get the Shamen's Mr C in to do a cameo, and say that she was filming that bit to introduce him?"
"Perhaps we should just say it was a Static_assert?"

Gordon hasn't actually called for Tulisa's head on a plate:

It is also the kind of thing her bosses at ITV, X Factor producers Syco and record label Universal will take seriously.

... but has offered to get the crockery out.

Dave Rowntree a bit upset after graffito removed

The NME reports on a shocking desecration of our nation's heritage:

Dave Rowntree hits out after historic Blur graffiti is removed from London path

I know what you're thinking - what, exactly, is "historic blur graffiti"?

Back in the early days of the decade, someone painted a line from For Tomorrow on Primrose Hill - the bit about "and the view's so nice". Which is rather a good joke, and one that has has a good run. But now it's been removed.

Dave isn't happy and - as a reminder that he's trying to become a politician - he's even prepared to throw the Olympics into his argument in a totally baffling way:

"It's a jobsworth attitude in an Olympic year where we're supposed to be celebrating British culture, and Blur did contribute to British culture. It's part of the Blur story."

I'm not sure that simply because it's related to Blur, who were British, is a particularly strong argument for a fairly obscure pun having a right to be on a pavement. Can you offer any other reason to keep the words?

"I can understand the decision, but I lived in the area for about 15 years and even I got used to it being there. It's a shame, it was in one of our videos, we felt deeply about the lyric and about the hill."

Which is nice, but - again - isn't really a compelling argument.

Some people tried to put back the writing, but chose a rainy day and their efforts were washed away - not by a jobsworth cleaner, but BY THE LORD GOD HIMSELF. Who must be an Oasis fan.

It seems a bit of a shame to have taken something that has been around for so long, and offered a wry little in-joke; but it doesn't seem to have occurred to Dave that perhaps the people who got out the scrubbing brushes might simply not be aware of the lyrics of a number 28 hit from nineteen years ago, and their relevance to that spot.

Gordon in the morning: N-Dubz on the move

Starting a rubbish piece about N-Dubz moving house, Gordon clears his throat:

N-DUBZ will forever be remembered as those scamps from Camden in north London.

Well... if by "forever" you mean "at least until the back end of next weekend", and by "those scamps from Camden" you mean "like Cabbage Patch dolls allowed to make pop videos", you're on the money, Gordon.

The Charlatans: Back to the start

This year, it's twenty years since Some Friendly came out.

Yes, yes, but nobody broke it to me gently, so what do you expect?

The anniversary will be marked with a run-through of the entire album at the Roundhouse in London and some sort of re-releasing/repackaging of the disc. May 31st for the gig.

The audience is expected to contain many people too young to have been born when it came out, as part of a special operation to make you feel ancient. Anyone over the age of about 25 will be routinely asked if they ever saw a dinosaur.

My flatmate had the limited-edition special release in wipe-clean white vinyl sleeve, you know.

[When it was just 19: The Some Friendly weekend]

Tomorrow night's art/pop charity crossover: Quick reminder

Don't forget tomorrow night sees the launch for the Art Of Music 09, the exhibition being run as part of pancreatic cancer awareness week.

They're still taking sign-ups for a chance to get into the launch, and a chance to bid on art by Placebo, Blood Red Shoes and... well, The Stereophonics.

Future of the Left, future of music

I was asked on Twitter yesterday if I was going to say anything about the UK Music advert from Monday's Guardain, which repeated (making it clear it was with permission, of course - Feargal isn't going to make a rookie mistake like Lily Allen) a blog post from Andy Falkous on Future Of The Left's MySpace blog.

It was an odd choice for UK Music to use to make its case - sure, you can see the idea of taking a smaller act, a struggling band, and sharing their frustration at the new shape of selling music. Somewhat surprisingly, I don't think the advert actually even bothered to mention the band's name, though, and just shared the full URL of the original MySpace post. Given that UK Music had probably spent more on this advert than all the promotional spend on Future Of The Left records ever, it seems a bit churlish to have not given the band a bit of a bigger mention.

But it's also odd that UK Music used a MySpace blog to make its point - for didn't MySpace build its business on wanton disregard of copyright? Oh, sure, after it had built a userbase it went legitimate, cleaned up its act and licensed in all directions. But there wouldn't be a MySpace business if its founders hadn't adopted a blind eye to the letter of copyright law in the first place. Perhaps UK Music thinks what it is doing is rejoicing over a repenting sinner, rather than suggesting it's okay to do what you like, providing you get your house in order once you've built your business. Because that would be a strange message.

Now, I love Future Of The Left, but the problem with Andy's post is that it merely reflects the problem the major labels are having - he's trying to work in a digitally-connected world using a model established to cope with the limitations of a physical product.

Most of his concerns seem to be about the leaking of the album before it was due to be released. Upsetting, certainly, but that's not a problem caused by filesharing, even if filesharing exacerbates the effect. The leaking - the original leak - must have come from someone working in the wider music business (there's no suggestion that cat burglars are lifting tapes from recording studios), which would seem to be the sort of thing that UK Music could be sorting out within its own ranks.

But it's not just people in the music industry leaking records; it's the business model that the labels and UK Music are trying to cling to that makes leaking possible. Why are you collecting tracks until you have enough to fill a 12 inch disc rotating at 33 and a third before you release them? And if you must work in "albums" of tracks, why would you leave them sitting around for ages before putting them up for sale? Don't you think that this gap between creation and distribution is just opening a window for leaking? (Although I suppose if you had an open window, it wouldn't be a leak. But you get my drift.)

More to the point, though, is this bit:

I'm not angry (in fact I
don't blame you, unless you leaked it, in which case I WILL KILL YOU),
just a little worried that the record we made will get lost amongst
the debris and leave us playing shows like we just weathered at the
laughably bad Camden Crawl this last weekend - fifteen people and a
world of disillusion.*

It doesn't give me any great pleasure to say this, but if you're only able to scrape together an audience of fifteen in Camden at the weekend, your actual problem isn't really that people are filesharing your album.

Liam doesn't like it when the hoi-polli get too close

Noted costumier Mr Liam Gallagher had a nasty fit of the vapours last night when he found himself too close to the people whose monies keep him in the manner to which he is over-accustomed.

The public threw some beer at Mr. Gallagher while he attempted to sing popular songs at Camden's Roundhouse. Mr. Gallagher and his brother, Old Mr. Gallagher, had kept the appointment to help promote the iPod recorded music device by way of a concert of musics, but the audience's exuberance proved to be out-of-control when some beer somehow splashed upon Mr. Gallagher.

Despite his fearsome reputation for "avin it" and his popular catchapenny phrase of "come ooooon", Mr. Gallagher did not find the experience agreeable in any measure and took leave of the stage. Old Mr. Gallagher covered his absence, completing the singing on the ditty The Masterplan.

Court observers have suggested with mischievous smirks that Old Mr. Gallagher might find it very acceptable indeed for his sibling to permanently leave the stage, as then the spotlight will no longer be split asunder by the two men.

Our clothing correspondent Mr Burlington Bertie explained thus: "Young Mr. Gallagher's upset must be placed in the context of the procurement of his finery. For most certainly, the casual observer might conclude his outwear to be that of the thrifty labourer, perhaps even purchased on a second or third time on the retail racks. The reality, however, is that a man must spend a premium wage on having clothes which look so low in cost and effort. And a man who has spent upwards of the price of a pony-and-trap upon a pair of pantaloons shall never take kindly to the splashing of cheap alcohol upon said pantaloons.@

Bob Dylan is blowin' in the wind

Bob Dylan, out of the advert for the Co-Op, is doing a secret special gig at the Roundhouse in Camden. You need to register in advance to be in with a shout of getting one of the 3,000 tickets, but even if you miss out, the whole thing with be streamed on the internet.

If you do watch online, don't be too quick to ring tech support. He does actually sing in that voice these days, it's not a problem with the audio buffering.

Castles crumble

Crystal Castles aren't coming to Britain this September: they've got 'recording commitments'. Tell a lie, they are coming, but they're only going to play Camden. Musn't let down Camden, must we?

Camden will Crawl again

Organisers of the Camden Crawl have pledged that the event will happen despite Camden having burned to the ground:

"Last Saturday's tragic incident has understandably had a deep impact on those who work, live and frequent the Camden area,” began the statement.

“We are especially saddened by the extent of the damage wreaked upon The Hawley Arms and the upset and disruption that is has caused to our friends there. Central to last year's event, The Hawley was due to host various live events and parties, but will now unfortunately not be included within the festivals.

“No other venues have been affected by the fire and the Camden Crawl will go ahead as planned on 18th & 19th April.

“Camden's musical history and reputation for breeding new musical talent will continue to be celebrated as now more than ever and we are currently looking into ways that the festival will be able to help those affected by the fire."

We know you'll have been worried.

Camden Market is on fire

BBC news is reporting that Camden Market is on fire, with eight engines in attendance.

[UPDATE: 9.40pm - BBC News 24 now reporting 20 engines; spreading to another building; London Ambulance say no injuries]

That's how people grow tired

Obviously, Morrissey had already resumed his tour this Wednesday - after being too ill to play half his London dates - but even so, for someone who had only just got back to full strength, hoofing it down from Doncaster on Wednesday to tape a Jonathan Ross show on Thursday is quite a feat:



Talking of Ross and Morrissey, the awkward, toe-curling moment where Ross, Russell Brand and Dabid Walliams came onstage at the Roundhouse is preserved for all eternity on YouTube - "from every angle" as The Word's podcasters observed. This is why it's better for such announcements to be made over loudspeakers:

Mozzer in the capital's future

Morrissey is going to do a six-night residency at the Camden Roundhouse next January.

Tanita Tikaram fights the fags

We've not heard much from Tanita Tikaram for a while; it turns out she's been busy fighting plans for a local pub to allow smokers to stand outside her house:

“People drinking in the pub already spill over into St George’s Terrace, leaving empty glasses, food and cigarette butts, using the garden as a urinal and as they drink more alcohol becoming louder and more raucous.

“I don’t see the sense in extending an already undesirable situation.”

Geronimo Inns, who run the Queens in Regent's Park Road, insisted that unless they were given a more lenient licence, things would remain bad:

Geronimo, which has run the pub for 10 years, warned that it would be harder to control customers without the extended licence.

In a letter to the New Journal, commercial director Ed Turner said: “The customers would be moved further along, and The Queens would not be able to manage potential disturbances.”

He told the panel: “There’s been a lot of changes and problems for the industry on the back of the change in smoking laws.

“It’s been very difficult, it’s been a big learning curve for us and our customers.”

We'd suggest that if you're having that much trouble "controlling" your customers, what you need is not to have a more lenient licence, but perhaps have no licence at all. And while, obviously, the ban on smoking has caused difficulties, what sort of clientèle are you attracting if "not pissing in Tanita Tikaram's garden" is a behaviour which has to be learned?

Ah, yes. There's no pubs in the suburbs

We really hope that the story in this morning's Bizarre is just a spot of space-filling speculation and that Amy Winehouse's dad and manager don't think that the way to deal with someone who has serious addiction problems is to get them to "move out of Camden" and to "have a word with landlords in Camden":

"Ray has been to see the landlords of pubs in Camden to ask them to help keep Amy in check.

“He wants them to look out for hangers-on who might lead her into trouble."

Ah, yes. Because up to now, the people who run Camden's pubs would have been unaware that Amy was in trouble.

More to the point, what are they supposed to do? "I'm not serving you, you've got a hanger-on with you. You'll have to go outside if you want an acolyte..."

And if the landlords of Camden could somehow control Winehouse's drinking, then why would you take the trouble to move her away to another part of town where her manager hasn't had a word?

Still, having seen Newton's interview style on last night's Britain's Next Top Model, we're starting to see how this sort of thing might appear in the papers. The would-be models were put through a "task" where they were grilled by Newton on supposed scandals they'd been involved in; "I'm Victoria Newton from The Sun" sat asking them weak questions, wearing enormous sunglasses (I do apologise if Victoria had recently had a cataract operation before she'd filmed the segment.) How can you interview someone properly on a sex or drug scandal if you're unable to make eye contact with them? The whole piece was a bit stilted - the programmes quickly moved on to a bit with Joan Rivers and Max Clifford instead - but did include the comedy gold of Newton, in all seriousness, suggesting that showing your breasts might undermine your modelling career.

Nash, Coxon fight for the market

Kate Nash and Graham Coxon are actively campaigning to save Camden Market in the face of a totally unfathomable attempt to replace it with a shopping centre.

Okay, it's not unfathomable - we actually understand the concept of "buttock-headed, culture-destroying, profit-driven selfishness" - but what is unfathomable is that this idea can even be floated to the point where gigs are having to be organised to save the market.

Nash is playing the market on Thursday; Coxon, meanwhile, has spoken to the local paper:

"This is a pathetic attempt at modernisation, What's going to be in it? More Starbucks coffee houses and Carphone Warehouses?

"It should be full of tailors, shoemakers, cheesemakers and independent shops, but of course they are not going to do that."

Maybe not cheesemakers, Graham. It took Camden long enough to get Alex James out of its patch last time.

Lemonheads unplugged

Last night's Lemonheads gig at KoKo got pulled, as the whole of Camden had electrical problems - possibly as the result of local people destroying substations to try and avoid the sound of Evan Dando drifting across their homes.

They're going to try again tomorrow.

First night: Prince at Koko

Prince's secret gig at Koko - secret in the sense that you weren't ever going to get to go, so forget it - has thrilled the press. Although it's not like he was playing the Camden Falcon, is it?

We're also a little surprised by who's considered a-list these days. RWD magazine were excited, but clearly they can't get out much:

RWD - as well as MIA, Will Young, Johnny Borrell, Carl Barat and Chris Moyles - was in attendance to see the triumphant return of The Prince after a nigh-on 10 year hiatus from our shores.

Chris Moyles? Will Young? The never-more-aptly-named MIA? Are they sure they weren't backstage at BBC Four's Music Hall programme or something? And can you have a hiatus from a nation?

London Lite's Andre Pain must have been standing near, but not right behind, RWD:

Little Britain star David Walliams, singers Mika and Will Young and DJ Chris Moyles were among the stars who saw him at Koko.

Pain saw the Moment Where Prince Fell Over:

Several fans were pulled on stage to dance and, amid a party atmosphere, one girl gave him a peck on the cheek.

Apparently joking, Prince fell to the floor, but a bouncer appeared and removed the fan from the stage. Prince disappeared and then returned with his head wrapped in a towel, muttering darkly about being kissed by a stranger.

Oddly, by the time the 3AM Girls get round to writing about it in The Mirror, the story has shifted a little"

PITY poor little Prince after the tiny star was toppled on stage - knocked off his heels by a way-too-zealous female fan.

The woman forced a kiss on the singer before straddling him as he lay prone on stage at a secret London gig.

He flounced off in a huff - only later returning with a towel over his head, muttering that he was ashamed.

But it seems that - while RWD and the London freesheet had been attending, the supposed premier gossip column had been amongst those of us relying on second-hand reports from the frontline:

Says our eyewitness: "As soon as this woman kissed Prince, he suddenly fell to the ground."

With her hero prostrate in front of her, the woman couldn't resist going further.

"She grabbed his arm and started straddling him," our witness goes on.

"Prince looked absolutely terrified. This clearly wasn't meant to happen. Then two bodyguards rushed out and hauled her off. Her arms and legs were flailing all over the place."

Luckily, it turns out that 3AM staple Beverly Knight was on hand to offer an opinion. Unfortunately, she seems to have confused Prince, the popstar, with a senior member of the British Royal Family:

Soul star Beverley Knight really felt for him. She told us yesterday: "It was so disgusting. I can't believe anyone would be that disrespectful. What makes you think you can behave like that with Prince?"

Clearly, though, Beverly thinks that it's usually okay to straddle people you've never been formally introduced to, just so long as they've never run their own record label.

Oddly, after this, the 3AM Girls are back in the room:

The incident was the one low point of a gig that was otherwise superb, though he didn't play enough hits for our liking.

But if you were there, why are you relying on an "eyewitness" for telling you what happened? (As it turns out, they could have just looked at the photo on Stereogum to have fudged their report.)

Either the 3AMies were at the venue, and are so inept you missed the incident - like Lizzie Archer nipping away from the vegetable show and not seeing the marrow explode - or you weren't there, and are trying to make it seem like you were.

Let's turn to NME.com's report to decide:

Prince ensured the fans had something to shout about with hits including 'U Got The Look', 'Kiss', 'Cream', 'Let's Go Crazy' and an impassioned version of 'Nothing Compares To U' in his set.

That sounds like quite a lot of hits to us. Although, of course, no amount of hits could probably compensate if you were stood outside with your ear stuck against the door.

The 3AM's moan, though, is at least refreshing in a sea of pliant press which would make Enver Hoxa jealous. The Telegraph's Tom Horan stressed how blessed we all are:

But for all the Brown-style fainting and showboating, the imploring and the pelvic fireworks, what was striking was Prince's humility. This was to be a party, not an ego trip. Having invited various audience members on stage, he found that one supremely lumpen individual had somehow taken his spot at the mike. Graciously he allowed him to sing the whole song. It brought the house down.

[...]

He did a dazzling cover of last year's Gnarls Barkley hit Crazy, reinventing it as a lampoon on all the people who have questioned his sanity over the years. Yet he barely dented the vast back catalogue of pop brilliance that is his to draw on.

Most of all, he just kept laughing and smiling. Prince is clearly in the mood for a party. How flattering that he has chosen to have it here.

We are not worthy to kiss his discarded head-towel. Prince, Prince, please shrug disdainfully in our direction.

You'd expect total capitulation from Hello, of course, a magazine which treats the daughter of a 1970s pop star and the presenter of a game show on Living TV with the same overawed reverence as Prince himself:

Revered the world over for his breathlessly sexy delivery, Prince is bound to draw a crowd of glamorous ladies anywhere he performs. So the coolest names of London's night scene, among them Lisa Snowdon and Peaches Geldof, flocked in droves to see the iconic funk artist playing a trendy London music venue.

Although what, exactly, is Hello trying to say here?

And it wasn't only the girls who were eager to see Prince in action, as Grace Kelly singer Mika, David Walliams and Will Young were in the audience, too.

It fell to The Times' Kevin Batholomew to try and turn in a review that attempted to treat Prince as just another performer. He nearly managed, it, too, but even by the end, Kevin was taking the Bible Studies guy's word as law:

[E]ven at the age of 48 did nothing to belie his status as music's supreme performer, but also by an ecstatic audience.

"You give me the energy to do this", he told us. "At the O2 we're gonna turn that thang out. They're gonna be the best shows you've ever seen." You better believe it.

Hattie Collins, who reviews for the London Paper and blogs at Hattie C In The Place To Be admits the existence of a phenomenon which causes journalistic distance to crumble in the face of the little man:

eing a music journalist, it's sometimes easy to become a cynical, boozy, grumpy, faded hack. But hey, every job has its benefits. Don’t get it twisted though; just because we take great pleasure in slagging things off, even we have a day-off from the haterade every once in a while.
For me, my journalism kryptonite is the one and only Prince. Quite frankly, he could arrive onstage and fart for four hours and I’d act like it was the best show ever.

Rubbishcorp has Purple Pixie pix and Koko video.

Peaches Geldof: The DLT of our times

The Sunday Mirror's Zoe gossip column has a surprising puff for Peaches Geldof's dj career today:

SOME people may slag off Peaches Geldof's DJ-ing, but the feisty teen is having the last laugh.

Love her or hate her, she is raking it in with constant bookings.

After her A-Levels in three weeks, she'll tour the festivals and play in local Camden boozers like The Hawley Arms.

You might be wondering exactly where the news hook is for this. Truth is, there isn't one, but the point of the article suddenly becomes clearer:

When she DJ'd at my party with her best mate Fifi Brown, calling themselves The Trash Pussies, they played a top set of rock classics.

We're sure the Sunday Mirror hasn't sunk to the level yet where it'd insult its few remaining readers by allowing running adverts in lieu of payment for private parties, would it?

Zoe then makes a startling prediction:

Very soon she'll be more famous than her dad, Sir Bob.

Whatever you might feel about Bob, he has organised one of the biggest entertainment events seen in the Western world, and kick-started an enormous charity effort. It's going to take an awful lot of dj sets in grotty upstairs rooms in Camden pubs before Peaches will challenge that.