Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Liam doesn't like it when the hoi-polli get too close

Noted costumier Mr Liam Gallagher had a nasty fit of the vapours last night when he found himself too close to the people whose monies keep him in the manner to which he is over-accustomed.

The public threw some beer at Mr. Gallagher while he attempted to sing popular songs at Camden's Roundhouse. Mr. Gallagher and his brother, Old Mr. Gallagher, had kept the appointment to help promote the iPod recorded music device by way of a concert of musics, but the audience's exuberance proved to be out-of-control when some beer somehow splashed upon Mr. Gallagher.

Despite his fearsome reputation for "avin it" and his popular catchapenny phrase of "come ooooon", Mr. Gallagher did not find the experience agreeable in any measure and took leave of the stage. Old Mr. Gallagher covered his absence, completing the singing on the ditty The Masterplan.

Court observers have suggested with mischievous smirks that Old Mr. Gallagher might find it very acceptable indeed for his sibling to permanently leave the stage, as then the spotlight will no longer be split asunder by the two men.

Our clothing correspondent Mr Burlington Bertie explained thus: "Young Mr. Gallagher's upset must be placed in the context of the procurement of his finery. For most certainly, the casual observer might conclude his outwear to be that of the thrifty labourer, perhaps even purchased on a second or third time on the retail racks. The reality, however, is that a man must spend a premium wage on having clothes which look so low in cost and effort. And a man who has spent upwards of the price of a pony-and-trap upon a pair of pantaloons shall never take kindly to the splashing of cheap alcohol upon said pantaloons.@


James said...

*polite applause*

I like this a lot.

M.C. Glammer said...

I remember their walkoff at Barrowlands way back and the fuss thereafter. Having been rugby-tackled into a drumkit and had countless dangerous objects thrown stagewards (all intended in the name of cool boisterous bonhomie, I'm sure) I was glad they walked off, having had it written into their contract after an early fracas in their careers. Good on 'em and sod the lot of you who think it's rock 'n' roll to throw stuff, like it links you to the band in some way. Mark Chapmans, the lot of you.

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