The continuing tale-a-day of the unhappy Coles dominates Gordon Smart's column this morning, with Gordon himself dredging up a new angle: a claim that Cheryl isn't eating:
Having set up his own story, Gordon then, erm, reveals that it's not quite true:
“She didn’t eat for a couple of days and everyone close to her understood because she was so upset.
“But time has dragged on and she has now gone the best part of a week without a proper meal. "
So, even Gordon's own "source" doesn't say she's not eaten for a week; just that she's not had a "proper meal" for "the best part of a week".
So Gordon's story is actually: upset woman doesn't have hearty appetite.
Smart tries to work it up into a pending medical emergency:
She can't force food down because she's in shock?
Elsewhere, the team who are covering Britney Spears' mental health crisis come up with the perfect Gordon Smart Bizarre introduction:
Gordon also gets excited by Maggie Gyllenhaal's movie supporting the striking writers. Gordon, bravely adopting the role of Industrial Correspondent, gets excited:
Well... Gyllenhaal in film, actually. But poor Gordon gets all heated up only to be left with his sports sock on and nowhere to go:
So, erm, no 'lesbian orgy', then.
David Walliams' admission that his cameo in Virgin Territory isn't very good excites Smart, as it allows him to look at some breasts:
I’ve seen some stills from the film and she kindly displays her perfectly-formed breasts, while a couple of naughty naked nuns share a saucy bath with Christensen.
Good to see the Star Wars hero keeping the lightsabre well oiled (and I thought I had the best job in showbiz).
How long will you keep that job if you think that Darth Vader is the hero of Star Wars?