It's an action-packed Bizarre this morning: Britney Spears in hospital, handled by US editor Emily Smith; some made-up figures about what Cheryl Tweedy's divorce settlement might be, written by Richard White (showbiz reporter rather Bizarre team) and news of Amy Winehouse being put on a drip - which, again breaks Gordon Smart's promise at the weekend that Winehouse would be left alone now, although it, too, isn't actually written by one of Smart's enormous team.
So, what has left Gordon and the team too busy to write the main stories? Um... he's been looking at Alesha Dixon's new video. Gordon is outraged that it's actually an advert for a car:
But have you ever seen one with a Ford Focus in it? No, me neither.
The Strictly Come Dancing winner posed by the motor in an internet-only video for her track 4 U I Will.
A Ford spokesman said that the video was to “celebrate” the car.
That’ll be an “advert” to you and I.
Now, he might have a point - although this isn't quite as tacky as the My Chemical Romance advert-video, where the main video featured product placement and the plot was dictated entirely by the advertistser, this is more of an ad based on the video, but it's still a bit clunky. But is Gordon really so angry at this creeping commercialisation? Is he about to join Adbusters?
Erm... not quite; after all, the advert might be an advert, but it does have a young woman showing her legs in it. Gordon bravely swallows his objections to run the pictures anyway.