Free Charlatans CD this week, with... um, the Daily Telegraph... Right...

SAVE THE SUGDENS: The whole Farm Aid thing has started to blow up in everyone's faces - U2 and the Williams moaned at for not taking part, while vegetarians attack Coldplay and Toploader for getting in on Animal Slaughterers in Need. But all of this misses the main point, which is - why is the event happening at all? Admittedly, farmers have had a rough time of it recently (dating probably from about the time they started to feed buckets of ground up sheeps brains to sheep), but then so have a lot of small businesses. A lot of them may have gone out of business, and sure, its a tragedy for the indivduals involved, but one of the things about being self-employed is that you take that risk. Its just the guy who ran the greengrocers round the corner from me didn't get his flaky business propped up by huges influxes of government support. "The supermarkets pay us next to nothing for our meat, and then sell it for huge prices" moan the farmers, as if its our fault they've done deals that are getting them stuffed, like Year 5 pupils running to the dinnerlady because they've realised selling their Dairylea Lunchables to Big Tony for five pence wasn't such a good deal - what makes it more insulting is that that's been the situation for years now, and yet every time the farmers fall for it. Let's face it guys - a semi-essential industry unable to support itself for generations without huge subsidy, hit harder by a mixture of disasters brought on in part by themselves, in part by their colleagues in the industry, and occasionaly by natural events running against them. Sounds familar? You bet, and yet can you imagine anyone seriously suggesting we have charity gigs in aid of the Train Operating Companies?

WAKING UP AND RUBBING EYES: - yes, we've been doing other things, okay? But now we're back with this... the MTV video awards, 2001
Best Hip Hop Video: Outkast – ‘Ms Jackson’
Best Direction in a video: Fatboy Slim – ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Best Dance video: N’Sync - ‘Pop’
Best Male video: Moby ft. Gwen Stefani – ‘South Side’
Best Female video: Eve ft Gwen Stefani – ‘Let Me Blow Your Mind’
Best New Artist in a video: Alicia Keys – ‘Fallin'
MTV2 Award: Mudvayne
Best Pop video: N’Sync – ‘Pop’
Best Rock video: Limp Bizkit – ‘Rollin'
Breakthrough Video: Fatboy Slim – ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Best Group in a video: N’Sync – ‘Pop’
Best Rap video: Nelly – ‘Ride Wit Me’
Best R'n'B video: Destiny’s Child – ‘Survivor’
Best Art Direction: Fatboy Slim – ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Best Special Effects in a video: Robbie Williams – ‘Rock DJ’
Best Video from a film: Moulin Rouge – ‘Lady Marmalade’
Best Cinematography: Fatboy Slim: ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Best Choreography: Fatboy Slim – ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Best Editing: Fatboy Slim – ‘Weapon Of Choice’
Viewers Choice Award: N’Sync – ‘Pop’
Video Of The Year: Moulin Rouge – ‘Lady Marmalade’

You'd have to raise an eyebrow at Weapon of Choice being described as a "breakthrough" video - in what way? Because there's a celeb in it? Or because there's flying in it? And, in addition, in what way is Lady Marmalade a "video from a film"? Simply because its a track on a soundtrack - surely Christina isn't actually in her pants in the film? Strictly speaking, this award should go to Atomic Kitten's Eternal Flame video, which at least does make use of the film that it is child to - although the whole concept of the cover, the film and the award seems to be one best forgotten.