No Rock And Roll Fun

ELTON SHOOTS IN: As if the poor kids in that German school where the bloke turned up and shot the teachers hadn't suffered enough, now Elton John is going to fly over and make them sit through one of his concerts. Cheers, Elton - what could be better than, in the middle of trying to get over seeing your physics teacher slaughtered in front of your eyes, having to pretend to want to hear I'm Still Standing, Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting and Don't Go Breaking My Heart. Elton, not only could you not be the new Princess Diana (although the self-obsession, too much money, poor taste and fucking stupid men would help) but we don't even need one, sweetie.