No Rock And Roll Fun

THAT'S ME MARK PAGE, SIR: You have to pity the poor squaddie - not only are they sent to fight in tanks that can't cross a patch of sand (which makes "we will fight them on the beaches" a no-go), with rifles that don't work, against dubious targets, being fired on by troops supposedly on "our" side, but when they're back at home, they're now being entertained by the all-new Garrison Radio. The man in charge is "Me" Mark Page, who older people might remember used to do the euphemistically titled "early breakfast" show on Radio 1 in the 1980's. (Yeah, because breakfast is a meal traditionally enjoyed at four am, isn't it? Try "middle of the fucking night show") And, yes, he still does the "Me Mark Page" gag, which suggests that Colchester isn't banishment enough.
But its even worse for our brave boys. At weekends, breaks from squarebashing and committing suicide in strange circumstances are accompanied by Dave Lee Travis. Wack, wack, and, of course, opps.
For some reason, we're putting the Alan Partidge returns story here