No Rock And Roll Fun

EXCITING NEW REVENUE STREAMS: So, Alice Cooper is opening a haunted house, apparently. This first of all puzzles us - Cooper, surely, was never scary, not even in the way Slipknot or Ozzy affected to be, so its rather like McDonalds offering cooking classes in the first place - "ooh, it's a man who's not combed his hair; save me, mummy" - but then it puzzles us some more - why don't more rock stars open visitor attractions? Sure, you've got the Gracelands and the Dollywoods; and Noel Edmonds caught a cold with Crinkly Bottom (Noel being the drummer with Brown Sauce as well as an irritating TV and radio presenter, of course). But I like the idea that, rather than doing the things we can't bear to look at, Justin Timberlake could create a travelling show, with a big tent for his fans to climb inside and experience a Timbelake view of the world...