THANKS, JAMES: When exactly did Martine McCutcheon stop being FabTiff and turn into the horror that she is now? We know it was well before she left eastenders, and it must have been before she thought we really needed a cross between Linda Lusardi and Celine Dion in our entertainment firmament. Anyway, now she's got a new bloke and, unfortunately "James has a wonderful family who always look after me. There has been many a night when I have gone round to sing on their karaoke machine and by doing this, I was encouraged to sing again." Right, Martine - but did it not occur to you why a karaoke machine might bring these feelings out in you? Does that not say something about your singing style? Is the fact that James' family weren't inspiring you with "a box set of Maria Callas" or even "an Alanis Morrisette DVD" not telling you something? Indeed, doesn't the fact that you knew James for 18 months and it wasn't until you stopped putting out godawful records that he started to want to be your boyfriend tell you something?