Saturday, May 24, 2003

BABY, WE DON'T CARE: So, at long last Jennifer Ellison - her from Brookside - has finally got her single out. It's a cover of Baby, I Don't Care by Transvision Vamp, and it is quite, quite remarkable: It makes you appreciate Wendy James. In the video, Jenny from the Close prowls around, ice-bright teeth in an orange face, attempting to hunt down a man who looks like he's come hotfoot from his accountancy class. It's meant to be all predatory and sexy; it looks like the young Judith Chalmers has got drunk and wants to talk about bookkeeping.
The song, if anything, is worse. Let's not even bother to debate if she's got the ropiest voice of any actor from a British Soap - really, she makes Malandara Burrows sound like she could front up for Carmen. It's the complete lack of understanding about what she's singing, reflected in the delivery, that really irks. In Wendy James hands, the lyrics clearly were meant to be a powerful statement about her love of sex - when she tells the guy that he doesn't have to bother with the 'i love you' because she doesn't care, it's clear she wants a good, dirty, meaningless fuck because she enjoys sex for its own sake; she's hunting for her own pleasure. You don't love me? So what. Just be good.
Jennifer, however, seems to have missed this crucial aspect of the song; in her version, rather than being proud and demanding, it comes across like she's begging for the sex - it doesn't matter if you don't love me, please, just fuck me anyway; oh, go on (more on a par with Lovefool by the Cranberries). It's like a desperate plea, it has the"maybe you'll learn to like me" in brackets; rather than disappear off into the night with a tingly feeling, Jennifer will be ringing up on the hour, every hour. Wendy didn't give a fuck about her fuck; Jennifer loves him so much she doesn't care if he doesn't love her back. Whereas Wendy James sang the song of woman passionate about passion, Jennifer Ellison has made a record for the school bike.

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