PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW SLATE: James Brown has been pardoned for all the crimes he may have committed in South Carolina. "God bless America on this beautiful day. I hope my pardon shows the youth that America is a beautiful country," the 70-year-old singer said in a statement. "I feel good!" Yup, a beautiful country where you get high on PCP, threaten people with a shotgun because you think they've used your toilet, drive like a dangerous dick, and get away with it because you're rich and famous. Owww!