No Rock And Roll Fun

WE WISH HIM ALL THE BEST , BUT: Jack Osbourne emerges from a spot of rehab blethering on about finding out who he really is. Jack, honey, you're not old enough to drink cider yet unless you get a adult to nip into the Off Licence and buy it for you - the whole point about being a teenager is that you're given somewhere between five and twenty years to muck about and try and find out who you exactly are; it's what teenage is for. And while you may be some all-clean rehabvangelist, the chances are you're not, any more than your sister is a pop goddess. You don't have to believe what people are telling you all the time, especially when you're paying them to tell you.