No Rock And Roll Fun

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: With free poster of some tents from very high up

"Actually" The Thrills tell the Guardian Friday Review "we don't understand the whole misery thing. Morrissey is pretty funny." Once again, with the orthodox unorthodoxy on the Moz.

In Punk Planet Jello Biafra interviews Greg Palast - the scourge of capitalists meets, um, the scourge of the rest of the Dead Kennedys. Palast suggests that Gore wasn't really bothered about the election result, as long as it was one of them, which seems to be a bit of an odd pronouncement. Even if the political gap between Gore and Bush isn't that great, if we accept that the main attraction of the White House is the power to rig the economy in your favour, why would any man not mind if even if his closest friend bested him in the battle for that?

Elsewhere, Everett True meets Wire. Intrestingly, he tells a tale about how Wire thought that taking adverts in Careless Talk Cost Lives would guarantee good coverage. Almost as if that's how it usually works...

Drugs... the Guardian [Saturday] Review - which we now see can be subscribed to as a stand-alone publication - takes a look at a book on the US E scene, which is ultimately depressing; unlike in the UK, where rave drugs had a good period of time to grow their own plastic gangsters, in the US it was Proper Goodfellas from the off. The prism through which all of this is viewed is the sad tale of Michael Alig, as you might expect.

More drugs... the New Statesman's green special reports on the environmental cost of drugs, which is high in terms of the land given over to the secret production of cocaine, the production processes and the latter day agent orange type sprays used in the US's war on drugs. Tom Burke's solution is to just say no, of course, but it just looks like one more argument in favour of decriminalisation to us.

Yet more drugs... today's Daily Mail splashes on a 'shock report' on the Cannabis Timebomb. Apparently all that temporary monging is going to make us all permanently monged at some unspecified point in the future. We shall see. Or, perhaps, won't quite see, but just giggle inanely.

Meat Loaf claims that Sony deliberately under-reported his album sales, diddling him out of eight million quid in the process. He warns Guardian Jobs and Money readers "If you sign with a record label, be prepared - you won't get all your money." These are the people who lecture you on your bad evilness of Kazaaaing...

What on earth would possess Q to give its cover over to a topless Robbie Williams? Is it really so desperate to go after the more readers? As reported elsewhere, Robbie moans that we don't give him enough support and that he's going to give up casual sex. One way to get people going out at nights again, I guess.

"More coverage for less" trills the NME front page, perhaps remembering its shyster antics last year when they stuck the cover price up for the Glasto report edition. There's also space made for Thom Yorke on the cover, too. Interestingly, there's an acting news editor listed - does anyone know what's happened to the Daily Star Bitch (that was her strapline, we're sure she's very nice).

50 Cent is coming back to the UK; he really liked it here when he played with Eminem. He only had to do a ten minute set and got paid in full, so why wouldn't he love?

Ateaseweb, the greatest of the radiohead fan sites, has managed to save itself from the threat of closure over the lyrics on its pages, but now faces closure because of crippling bandwidth demand. They're looking for a white knight.

80s Matchbox B Line Disaster called in some topless wrestlers and midgets for a live date - not the most inspired way of attempting to draw attention away from lack of ideas.

Interesting but false headlines: 'UK File sharers face lawsuits' says the nme. Except, the news report underneath merely says the BPI can't rule out copying the RIAA. Which is 'we're not going to, but we're not going to say we're not going to.' The BPI hasn't copied very many of it's American cousin's actions, so why would it start with this risky avenue?

"Aids is the biggest weapon of mass destruction I can think of" says Fran Healy, which, while we know what he means isn't quite true - the point about Aids being its not mass, but picks its targets off one by one - at least has its anger in the right place. Maybe he could write a song about it, instead of pisspoor lovey stuff?

'Leeds safer than ever' promises another headline - which isn't saying very much considering the last couple of events, is it? They're also going to have a supermarket on site, which, without any local competition, will presumably have an interesting pricing policy.

Eminem's security was better than the Royal Family's - which isn't saying much, considering how lax royal protection is. On the other hand, it shows Eminem up for the wuss that he is. And not in a cute wuss way, either.

New trend watch: Punk Rock Aerobics. I see.

Lise Marie Presley does the CD thing - Radiohead, two Jeff Buckley and Rage Against the What, I Can't Read My PR's Writing here.

He's shaken off being associated with Minty, and he wears a kind of sackcloth, but there's something still cute about folkie-electro Patrick Wolf.

What does it take to get a two page spread in NME these days? Releasing 11 albums never cracked it for Holly Golightly, but being friends with Jack White did. Just in time for her 'up' album: 'Heartbreak is everywhere. I've done a lot of stuff that made my friends cry, so this is me doing a pop record. I only talk about killing somebody once.'

According to the Bandits piece "in 2001 the Liverpool indie circuit was an amorphous tangle of skunkhead schoolmates signing deals like the premiership on crystal meth." We'll have to check our notebooks, but we're pretty sure it wasn't. Anyway, they do get to grips with why The Bandits managed to break the moribund mould of merseymope: unlike everyone else, when Lee Mavers tried to make Gary join yet another resurrected Las, he said no. And actually made his own myth instead of sitting in a basement waiting for Lee to have his ear-accupunture and letting time gather dust.

reviews
albums
the coral - magic and medicine - "often their wackiness obscures the band's real gifts", 8
dot - dot - "three aesthetes playing clever music for kicks", 5
beyonce - dangerously in love - "frustratingly inconsistent",5
matt elliot - the mess we made - "magnifique", 8
cosmic rough riders - too close to see far - "toning down their faux-Beatles cod mysticism", 7
the darkness - the darkness - "heavy metal karaoke", 7

singles
sotw - beyonce featuring jay z - crazy in love - "single of the century"
madonna - hollywood - "preachy hypocrites? give us a break"

live
young heart attack - camden barfly - "on the verge of kicking off one almighty party"

front cover of crowd? check. picture of drunk guy? check. people in bad hats? check. pointless poster of festival site from the sky? check. yes, its the glasotnbury review, which attempts to be comprehensive but is slightly hobbled by the need to give each act some sort of award. So we have:

most inspirational band - REM
most incongrous act - audio bullies
god vibes - primal scream
feelgood band - the thrills ("made for festivals" apparently)
best outfit - goldfrapp
cleanest shoes - sugababes
you get the drift.

And, finally: welcome a new nme feature: "Look, it's Avril not using her body to sell records." What a cracking idea.