CHAMBER MUSIC OF HORRORS: Madame Tussauds, the clearing house for lost and bemused foreign package tourists, has just unveiled it's newest 'attraction'. Last time, you'll recall, they drifted onto our turf it was to unveil Kylie's arse. Now, they've gone one better and come up with a total arse. It's a model of Simon Cowell and, since even madame tussauds these days accepts that 'looking a bit like the person its meant to be' isn't enough to tempt visitors to come see a model, it's got a unique interactive element: you can sing at it, and it'll tell you if you're in tune. Hmmm, a strange, waxy-skinned figure that shoots out pre-scripted retorts at singers in the belief that the 'insults' are more entertaining than the singers themselves? We have to admit, that is incredibly lifelike.