No Rock And Roll Fun

PORTUGUESE UNCERTAIN OF WHAT CONSTITUTES TOURIST ATTRACTION: You've got to love the town of Albufeira in Portugal, wh've just named a street after Cliff Richard. Apparently Cliff has been going on his - hey - Summer Holidays there for years (which makes us wonder why he made Blair go to Carribean if he himself prefers Portugal in summer - we wonder if he was just making sure that Tony and he are never in the same continent simultaneously) and the good people of the town believe that their connection with Cliff has boosted Portuguese tourism. Now they've drawn attention to the link, they'll find out exactly where they have been mistaken. "We're staying on the Rue De Sir Clifford" doesn't really have the romance of, say, Place De Les Heroes, does it?

Of course, on the matter of Street Names in this Beatle Weekend, while Liverpool City Council has sniffed the opportunity to cash in on the band in the last few years ("embraced the lasting heritage of the city's most famous sons") it hasn't always been thus. The dunderheaded demolition of the original Cavern is a story that everyone knows (pulled down with the cry "The Council Car Park Must Be Built"), but if you really want an indication of how little the Hatton-era city valued them, pick up an A to Z and see the grudging streets that were named after John, Paul, George Ringo and... oh, that's it, isn't it? As an indication, if you zoom in as close as you can on Mapquest, only John Lennon's Boulevard is big enough to have its name visible. Liverpool's relationship with the Beatles recalls Sybil's summation of Basil's attitude to guests: "You never get it right, do you? You're either throwing them out, or else you're fawning all over them..."