No Rock And Roll Fun

YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD, BUT KEEP TRYING: We've mentioned before that we're not entirely convinced that Christina Aguilera's heart is really in this whole sex-makeover that she's had foisted on her by in lieu of a proper marketing strategy ("her raunchy new image") - which is why she looks much more comfortable in the icy-Goth bit of the Stronger/Fighter/Harder whatever video she did than she looks in the Dirrty video, and why if you watch the Genie In A Bottle video she sings lines with absolutely no understanding of the smutty double-entendres they contain. Now, Christina herself seems to confirm our suspiscions that, at heart, she'd rather have a half bottle of Lambrusco, a pizza and a chat than be flung backwards over a gravestone and given three-cock attention. In an interview with a German paper, Christina tells us how much she loves sex. No, really, she really, really loves it. Oh yes:

"It's important to me to be open and honest and for me to say that sex is a beautiful thing.
I like having sex. It's fun. And I shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that. Sex is a very natural activity.
As a woman it's especially important to be open and say what you think about sex. I find it completely unfair that a girl who likes sleeping with different boys is called a slut whereas a boy who gets lots of girls into bed is seen as a stud and a hero.
I love experimenting with my sexuality. I want to try out as much as possible. It would be wrong of me to hide this side of my personality. I have fun being sexy and tough at the same time."

Oddly enough, her defence of sex as being "natural" echoes the words of Ronald Reagan, in a newly published book of letters. Ron had worried that sex was evil - even in marriage, bless him, but then he was shagging Nancy which must feel akin to being trapped in hell in some way - but then some chap (it doesn't say who, but our money is on Henry Kissinger) pointed out that in Polynesia, there's not all this guilt: "These peoples, who are truly children of nature and thus of God, accept physical desire as a natural, normal appetite." Not to mention, of course, that even educated fleas do it.

It's almost painful to watch Aguilera muttering about how its alright, sounding (as we've observed before) like nobody so much as the League of Gentleman's character who stands in the kitchen at his wife's swingers parties, clutching the canape tray and telling himself "it's alright... it's alright..." It's funny that for someone who loves experimenting with her sexuality so much it seems to have got as far merely as trying a bit of role-playing: "I'll be Britney Spears in the 'Boys' video tonight..." And is there anything more hackneyed to be said about human sexual interaction than girl sleeps around = slut/ boy sleeps around = stud commonplace? It's as tired a cliche as the fall back of media studies teachers that "one man's terrorists is another man's freedom fighter" and, in our experience, anyone who really does reveal in their sexual exploits doesn't mind being called a slut anyway - the word is seized more as a badge of pride, as anyone who uses it is revealing more about their own value system than that of the person they're throwing it at.

But the real clincher that she's not buying it herself is the constant use of the word "fun", as if getting down and - ahem - dirrty is like a logflume ride at Gulliver's World, or an especially challenging round of charades. "I have fun being sexy and tough at the same time" isn't the words of someone who is having an astonishing sex life and enjoying every moment of it; it reads more like a strapline for a pair of trousers in a Marshall Wards catalogue.