No Rock And Roll Fun

MUST BE TERRIBLE, DEREK...: It's been a bad week for quiet men. Not only has Iain Duncan Smith found himself heading back to... where was it he came from?, but now David Sneddon is going to quit being a popstar. Yes you do, he won Fame Academy. No, last year, the one before Cyndi Lauper's daughter won it. We're not entirely sure how one goes about quitting being a popstar - although we suspect the first step should really have been coming one - but David says that now he's going to concentrate on getting all the short date-coded butters right to the front of the fridge display ("songwriting".) Curiously, as he sends the throngs of screaming girlies home and lays off the chap who was employed to fluff the plumes of his feathery stage costumes, he sounds slightly bitter:

"There is a film across the front of the music industry which is hard to break through and that is all about making money. There is so much crap in the charts that I have to go out there and compete with. The majority of it is rubbish."

Hang about... the music industry is a money making concern? Really? Why haven't we been told this before? Poor David, turning up at the music factory one morning thinking he was going to be joining some artistic concern, only to discover that he'd in fact joined a multi-million pound business instead.

What puzzles us, though, is if what he's having to compete with is all the crap in the charts, and all of that crap being rubbish, how come his singles have been selling so poorly? Isn't he kind of saying "My music isn't able to beat the shitty stuff?" And why does he think being a songwriter is going to be any different to being a singer? It's like saying "I've had enough of working in the retail industry - Asda's crap, so I'm going to work for Boots instead."