No Rock And Roll Fun

TOP OF THE POPS... WITH CRAZYLEGS CRANE: There had been a sense of anticipation when Andi Peters took control of Top of the Pops, and announced his revamp. Now he's had a meeting with BPI to give them a sneak preview of his plans and anticipation has got red hot. Anticipating the show is going to go the way of This Is Your Life, that is. We're guessing that when he looked in the ideas cupboard, Peters found it was empty and so he scraped some up from other shows. So, while we applaud the axing of the Star Bar, we can only roll our eyes at the other innovations:

More backstage footage - because who wants to see your favourite band performing, when you could see them standing around looking bored in a corridor?

New presenters - blonde? can'thardly string twowors teggever? Your time is now

A new logo - Yes, that'll bring the audiences back from Corrie

and, best of all... a new name:

The All-New Top of the Pops.

Like The All New Flintstones, or the new Leave It to Beaver. We wish we were joking. We really wish we were.