No Rock And Roll Fun

VICOTRIA VALUES: We're not a big fan of Victoria Beckham, as you'd probably guessed (although we do miss the thighs she had in the Wannabe video), but we have to tip our hat to her for not going to the Pantene awards. The Evening Standard seems to imply that by going out for a glass of Perrier and some lettuce with her hangers-on ("to dine with friends at fashionable Mayfair restaurant Nobu") instead she was shirking her responsibilities but... come on, wouldn't we have laid into her if she was so desperate she'd go to some dismal shampoo promotion? What next - headlines laying into Madonna for ignoring the woman demonstrating Shake and Vac in John Lewis?

The paper also describes her as "the former Posh Spice", which sort of implies she's ceased to be Posh.

Anyway, cracking down to her career: "However, sources at her record label Telstar claim that although they are desperate meet her, their phone calls are not returned. The firm is stalling on releasing her new album because of rows over her new mentor, rap producer Damon Dash. Telstar refuses to pay Dash for the work he has done with Victoria, believing the album will be a flop. It is trying to reach agreement for her to release a pop album she recorded before meeting Dash, but she is refusing. 'Nothing is happening with the album at the moment because we can't come to an agreement,' said a Telstar insider. 'We are in the middle of a legal wrangle with Dash over money and we have tried to get Victoria to join in the meetings so we can sort it out, but she won't come.'

We're not smart enough to work for a record label, but we'd suggest that leaking how shit the record is to the papers might not be the best way to tempt your - ahem - talent in for a little chat about how things are going, is it? But we're delighted to hear that Telstar thinks that its okay not to pay a chap because the resulting record isn't very good - if we inflate this principle to its fullest, woudn't it make downloading music that isn't commercially successful okay? So, say, Mariah Carey's Glitter soundtrack is fair game on Kazaa, because it was a flop and therefore, the royalities which would normally be generated by the sales don't apparently have to be paid.

We hope the album does get released, though, simply because we want to hear a record so shite even the label writes it off commercially before anyone gets to hear it.