No Rock And Roll Fun

THE NEW FACE OF THE POPS: Meet Tim Kash, the new face of Top of the Pops:



Now, we've never seen Tim doing his thing on MTV, so we don't know if he's really the music-soused, confident presenter that Andi Peters is telling us he is. We're not so sure he's that clued up, though - "Like most of us, I grew up watching the show, but more importantly it's an institution, having broken so many bands over the years." Does he mean 'broken' in the sense of given first exposure to? But that's not TOTP's role or, indeed, schtick, which is why the name of the show suggests you're going to already see bands at the Top of the, um, Pops. Maybe he means that it's ruined bands careers?

Of course, now he's in charge and there's nothing we can do about it. But who is this shadowy new figure, then? A former presenter of MP3TV, for a start. Nope, us neither. He filled this survey out when he was doing that job [Warning: Not office safe, assuming your office doesn't tolerate wan wackiness]:

First Job: Now I've really got to think. I don't get to do this much (just read and smile - that's what they told me when I got this job). 've done some strange things for money before - not sure if you can call them jobs though. When I left school about two years ago, I took that well-needed time-out to figure out what I really wanted to dedicate myself to. It was a close toss-up from becoming an astronaut, a footballer, an Alaskan crab fisherman or an international playboy.
As you can see, I picked the next best thing - presenting. Can't see the connection? Three words for you - 'Tim's Master Plan'. It's just the beginning.
Why NOW: Because it's better than THEN.
Future: If you're asking what's next for me, then I couldn't possibly tell you. But, if you want to know what I intend to do in the next five years, then that's another story altogether.
Let's just say that by 30, I want to have had an international best-selling autobiography. Why? Because if I have that, then the next 10 years of my life will be worth writing about. Welcome to my world.

Hmmm. Our hand is already hovering over the 'bring back Gail Porter' button on our desk...