THE VIEW FROM A HOTEL RECEPTION AREA: The legnths some people will go to: Johnny Cash dies to avoid having to sing song well-meaning Coldplay write for him, while Meat Loaf cheat death, presumably knowing if he had died on stage the other week, Coldplay would be burbling away about what an influence he had been on them. That, and the fear of a Kid Rock tribute, is enough to stop anyone heading towards the light. Madonna reckons that Britney is like her little sister, which in a way is true, we guess - younger sisters often steal their big sis' lack of clothes to go out in, don't they?; Bryan from Westlife says that when the band are over, he wants to become the President of Ireland. We know that would place him in charge of only a fairly small army and he'd not have many people's lives dependent on him, but this is still the first argument we've ever heard in favour of Westlife going on forever; Glen Campbell says it was the medication that caused the drunk-driving-cop-bashing incident - yeah, those Rol-aids can really react badly with three bottles of bourbon and a half dozen Archers Aquas.