No Rock And Roll Fun

BEWARE THE CROWDS: As a New South Wales mall cancels an appearance by Australian Pop Idol winner Guy Sebastian (which just sounds like a name Velvet Goldmine would have used if it had been based on a book by E M Forster), he plans to fly to England for the frightening World Idol finals and - according to his spokesperson - "to open British bank accounts, which is difficult at the best of times." Eh? Difficult at the best of times? Maybe if you have trouble answering questions like "name" and "address", and perhaps having your postcode in a different format might make it trickier, but it's hardly like trying to apply for Indefinite Leave To Remain. And we're curious as to why he's trying to open up accounts in the plural - is he expecting to be earning a lot of money here soon? If so, we hope he's got a job lined up at a London pub, as we can't see his wafer slim talent turning into a massive payday for him.

He says that he's excited by his role in World Idol, as it'll give him the chance to show the world that Australians aren't all crocodile wrestling ockers. Guy, sweetness, we've met Jason Donovan and Rolf Harris. We know that to be the case.