"I CAN'T GO TO PRISON... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO PRETTY BOYS IN PRISON: Jack White's looking at a year in prison following his mashing of Jason Stollsteimer's face - he's been charged with aggravated assault. It sounds like Wayne County Prosecutor - that's the bloke in charge of law in the place where it happened, not a man who dedicates himself to bringing transexual singers to book - doesn't think too much of them there celebs: "It seems that far too often celebrities think that the law doesn't apply to them. So many don't understand the impact they have as role models on young people." Or indeed the impact they have a punchers on the faces of young people, come to that. Our legal expert is predicting a spot of plea bargaining, and some community service. If only Jack had a drug problem he could cite and swap the threat of chokey for a couple of weeks in rehab, eh?