No Rock And Roll Fun

WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: Royal Mail finally comes through edition
Kurt on the cover of the NME - probably turned up late because they had to piece it together like a jigsaw, then; but although the edition is lead off on Kurt, it's mainly Strokes as far as the eye can see - free strokes poster, big picture is strokes in Wales, coverage of all the gigs so far. Apparently the gigs were great, you won't be surprised to hear.

Wonderfully, Peaches reveals that at the moment she is mostly listening to hall & Oates ' Essential Collection. Splendid. Anyone want to join us in a chorus of Adult Education?

What does the new Vines stuff sound like? "A ballad with a Byrds feel", "even more blissed out than Highly Evolved" and even "Heat-shaped Box-esque" - calmed down a bit, then Craig?

Sloppily, the NME repeats nme.com's error in the report on Norman Cook handing in a petition to get Brighton and Hove Albion their ground in Falmer, claiming that the team have been playing at Withdean since the bunch of evil crooks in charge of the club back in the mid-90's sold the Goldstone, completely ignoring the time the team played at Gillingham for two seasons. How can we trust them when they say Joey Ramone is having a street named after him when they get such simple facts wrong? How? HOW?

Million Dead do a CD - Part Chimp, Queen and the Foo Fighters.

Peter Robinson: [Steve Lamacq] is a bit like the indie you, isn't he?
Tim Westwood: I wouldn't say that...
In the best PR verus so far, Westwood also clings to the likely story that he's twenty seven - and a half - despite looking as if he can remember when Paul Heaton didn't have to go to High and Mighty to buy trousers.

Ouch. I've fallen off my seat, because Radar has got women in it - the 5678s, to be precise, although they seem to be featured as much because of their appearance in Kill Bill as anything else - which, what with having been in a major film makes us wonder just how "new" they count as.

Advertising comedy character Har Mar Superstar chooses his favourite new band, and they're Scissor Sisters - "like George Michael having a wet dream over Prince." The poor little fella would drown, surely?

The all-knowing nme brain is asked if Alvin Stardust is Adam Ant's Dad. "It's an easy mistake to make, as Alvin's son is called Adam" - just like, erm, Stuart Goddard isn't. Why it might be an understandable mistake is because Alvin was married to Liza Goddard, so Mr. Ant shares a real surname with Alvin's ex-wife.

So, Kurt Cobain's fifty top albums of all time - The Vaselines are in there, The Breeders, and Black Flag, but, of course, he spoils it all by choosing Sergeant Pepper as the first choice.

If The Coral collaborated with Beyonce, James Skelly's girlfriend would bite his cock off, he claims. Yeah, like she's going to put that in her mouth, James. Apparently they still get treated like shite in Hoylake, which is, you know, Hoylake for you.

Jim James of My Morning Jacket thinks that life should be about appreciating little things - "like eating popcorn in your underwear." I'm not sure that that's popcorn, Jim...

Pretty Girls Make Graves had all but split up, you know, but while playing out their last dates they realised they didn't want to.

reviews
live
justin timberlake - birmingham nia - "the best thing he could do now would be to go back to N'Sync", 9
ilara colt - nottingham soundhaus - "prepare yourself for a swift and overdue asscendance", 9
gravy train!!!! - london garage - "a XXX special needs version of Bucks Fizz"

albums
damon albarn - democrazy - " musical foetuses ... thank christ blur usually finish writing their songs before they sell them otherwise they'd be shit", 2

ladytron/various - softcore jukebox - "Hit the north Part 1... Wire... Soon by My Bloody Valentine", 8


singles
sotw - the darkness - christmas time (cheesey bell end) - "a universe beyond shame"
good chalotte - the young and the hopeless - "crap lament to teenage suicide"
zoot woman - gem - "noir-ish Human league style electric futurism"

John Cale loves Radiohead. They've reached Wales, then?

Next week... it's double pop papers, which is scary because that means we need to do Christmas shopping.

And finally, Ryan Adams - why have you got a logo parodying the American Prescription mark? Besides it not travelling well, are you trying to suggest you have healing qualities?