No Rock And Roll Fun

MAN VAGUELY CONNECTED TO MUSIC INDUSTRY "LIKES COCAINE" SHOCK: There's perhaps the most rubbish expose ever in today's Sunday People, which breathlessly reveals some taxi driver used by BMG knows where to buy cocaine. Apart from his splendidly crap nickname - Stabby - Gary Stabana seems to be more than a bit weak as a figure to outrage the good people of middle England. The People reports:

Stabana boasted to an undercover People investigator how he can...
SUPPLY "wicked" charlie - the illegal class A drug cocaine.
ARRANGE dates with girls.
FIX private rooms for sessions at lapdancing clubs.

Yes, so cocaine is illegal and dealing in it isn't a career path you can get into via JobCentre Plus, but even if he was drug dealing, for a man in his job, to pretend this is somehow shocking and unexpected is to act out a defintion of disingenuous. And "arrange dates with girls"? getting "private rooms at lapdancing clubs"? Why not dig further - we bet he'd have claimed to be able to get people booths at the nearest Pizza Hut, knows how to get served first at a busy bar, and has a way of getting people to hand burgers, drinks and "fries - small, thin cut chips" out of a window straight into your car at McDonalds. But it gets worse... what did he do next, The People?

Over a drink Stabana then began slagging off some of his pop star clients.

Really? Has he been spilling the beans? Really sticking it to them? What did Stabby say?

He referred to handling a tour for zany chart- topping trio the Fast Food Rockers who had a hit with their first single Fast Food Song. He said: "The guy in the group, Martin, is a good laugh but the two girls were bitches and think they are really something special." He then slated pop star Gareth Gates saying: "I think he is finished and on his way out...." But he said Will Young will go on to greater things and be around for a long time.

So, he was slightly rude about a band who has had their five minutes, said something about Gareth that's now been said so often that it actually appears in the new edition of Brewer's Phrase and Fable, and he's incredibly generous in his assessment of Will. Really, this is thin, thin stuff.