No Rock And Roll Fun

MEL C GOES PROPERLY SOLO: Mel C is going to become Mick Hucknall - not through a series of operations to create a tiny penis, some out-of-date-code red hair dye and a month and a half of beating herself in the face with a large spanner, but through the slightly less painfull process of following the Simply Red new model of releasing her own singles without the need for a record label. This follows her being kicked off the Virgin roster - "after an agreement on all sides that it was 'best to part ways'" (we assume along the lines of Virgin told her to empty her locker, whereupon Mel decided leaving would be a good idea). Apparently she started to write songs before Christmas but has now gone on holidays instead. See, that's the trouble with self-employment: you start with great intentions, but before you know it, it's getting up at half past eleven and stopping work for the day when Countdown comes on.