No Rock And Roll Fun

POSH PUSHED OUT: It was cruel and cyncial of anyone to assume that Victoria Beckham's people had chosen this week to release her new comeback single because it's the soft, hanging underbelly of record sales - after the Christmas rush, the first week of January is a time where nobody releases singles, meaning that anyone who has any sort of following and profile who is brave enough to poke something out should have no trouble securing that vital number one slot. Only the pre-Yule records are there to offer any sort of competition, and they've already burned themselves out in the last days of advent.

This Groove / Let Your Head Go (not so much a double a- as a double b-side) has limped in at number three, outsold not only by Mad World, which has now had three weeks at the top, but also by Kelly Osbourne and Her Sainted Pa. What were your plans B and C, Vicki? Fashion and Acting? Better get the sewing machine out.

Also making a worrying low debut on the Coca-Cola Chart is S Club 8, who only hit number 11 with Don't Tell Me Your Sorry. The 19 Management team have clearly been stung by suggestions that the S Club Juniors are little more than kiddywinks offered up for the salivating paedo-masses, and have recently launched a cunning strategy of disguising the fact the band are peddling a bunch of children by dressing them up as if they were all twenty five years old.