NOT A PATCH ON THE TURN-OUT FOR DIANA'S FUNERAL: We're a little bit worried looking at the guest list for Elton John's first Caeser's Palace date - Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who at least consider themselves to be quite the a-listers; Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton. Sharon and Ozzy. Barbara Fucking Walters. Christina Aguilera. Jesus, the celebrities they round up for The National IQ test are more glittering than this shower - Adam Woodyat washing his hair, was he? Maureen from Driving School too busy preparing for Back to Reality?