No Rock And Roll Fun

CASH CASH COW?: A quick touch of the corpse's forehead has suggested to Hollywood that the body is now cold enough to start pumping it for money and so a Johnny Cash biopic is set to start filming in June. 20th Century Fix has set aside USD28 million for the project, called I Walk The Line and starring Joaquin Pheonix - who we always thought looked more like Lord Percy from Blackadder than Cash - and, oh god help us - Reese Witherspoon as June Carter Cash. They might even - seriously - be casting the state of Louisiana to play the part of Tennessee.

Could we make a small plea to people who work in the film industry? If you happen to walk past an open door, or find yourself crawling through an airvent, and hear someone saying something like "...so, to please the kids, we thought we'd get Fred Durst in to record his take on The Man in Black..." could you please let us know as soon as you've lobbed in a smoke bomb?