No Rock And Roll Fun

DETOX DUMPED, REACH FOR THE BEERS INSTEAD: Dr Dre's four years in the making album Detox has been dropped, according to Dre who says that "I'm pretending it's been scrapped. Although maybe it never really existed in the first place. Perhaps I just made up the album in a bid to keep my record company happy and for the last few years I've been living a lie, telling them it's coming, but then not really having anything beyond an A4 pad with the words 'Drums from 'Hard Knock Life'?', Is Nancy Sinatra dead?' and 'Beyonce - could I use this as an excuse to get her to sing naked?' written on in ink. And a doodle of a bunny-rabbit with lasers coming out its eyes. I mean, I went into the studio, sure, and even switched some tape machines on - I've got a sixteen track loop of me spitting in a bucket and the sound of the cleaner screaming when I hid naked behind the door and jumped out on her - but nuttin' that adds up to a whole album. And then it struck me this morning - I'm Doctor Fucking Dre, if I don't deliver shit, what are they going to do? Can me? So I decided to say it's been scrapped. And this way, I can stick a CD of all the offshoots of Eminem and Busta Rhymes sessions up on Ebay under a false name claiming it's a genuine leak of Detox, and I'll be quids in." But in a really quiet voice, so we think only we heard him.