No Rock And Roll Fun

SQUAREUSHER: He's heading for number one this week, and so Usher's been taking the time to set out his stall. He's apparently "proud" that David Beckham rates his music - although since David presumably mumbles encouraging things to Posh, we're not sure that we'd be that keen on such an endorsement. Although to be fair, Usher seems to have a better handle on modern soccer than Alex Ferguson does:

I'm proud to know a great artist like David Beckham respects my music. I've met him lots of times and we get on well. I didn't enjoy football until I saw him play. He invited me to watch him at Manchester United. Because of that game I became a soccer fan. I know he's a great player. I follow him as an entertainer - whether it's for his fashion or his football - I follow what he's doing. I have seen him play in Madrid and I'd like to go see him play more often."

Okay, you could ask how a man who had no interest in football would be able to tell that Beckham's a great player - have they perhaps started printing the wages next to the squad lists in the programmes? - but at least he's twigged that Beckham has more in common with Bruce Forsyth than Stanely Matthews.

Usher, of course, has just become a proud father - or, rather, a father - of a kid following what the tabloids rather cutely describe as "a relationship with a fan" rather than the more accurate "one night shag stand with a groupie"; this - perhaps unsurprisingly - has lead to him being dumped by Chilli from TLC:

"I know I hurt her, I know she hates me. I regret what happened. I don't know if I'll ever feel for a woman again like I did for her. I thought I had found my wife. My love was true and deep. But life goes on. These things make us the men we are."

"The men we are" being, presumably, a cheating scumbag who can't keep it in his pants.

Which reminds us, here's Usher on Timberlake:

"There simply is no comparison between me and Justin. He can't even stand in the same lane as me, ever. He cannot be compared to me as a vocalist, dancer, artist, multimillion selling star or anything. There is only one of me."

There is, indeed, which is probably why he felt some sort of genetic need to go round sharing his seed as widely as possible. We do like the idea of Justin and Usher standing in the same lane, though, and we'd like to suggest they might conisder the middle lane of the M6 just past Knutsford services if they want to put it to the test.