No Rock And Roll Fun

HANDY: It's great news that J-Lo's mum has won USD2.4million on some sort of casino game - she might be able to help her daughter out with a few bob. Recently, Jennifer Lopez has become so short of money she's had no choice but to accept any humiliating offer which comes her way, from appearing in Gigli to recording 'Baby I Love You', in a desperate bid to keep body and soul together and pay off the caterers she'd hired for her wedding to Ben Affleck ("I'm very sorry you've split up, love, but I've got a fridge full of individual pizzas and we've had the work experience lad sticking pineapple and cheese on cocktail sticks for the best part of a week, so someone's got to pay...")