No Rock And Roll Fun

THEY COULD HAVE JUST BROKEN INTO HIS GRAVE, CUT HIS HEAD OFF WITH A PENKNIFE AND USED IT FOR A GAME OF KEEPY-UP: You have to wonder what Ivor Novello did to the organisers of the award that bears his name. Supposedly some sort of mark of songwriting excellence, this years nominations include Will Young and Dido. They're up for best song (Leave Right Now and White Flag respectively), although Belle and Sebastian have been nominated for that one, too, for Step Into My Office Baby, so actually possessing a small degree of talent can't be an absoliute bar to taking part, then.

Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne are up for a prize, too, being nominated for Changes - yes, we know it was written in the time of Cesear, but that doesn't seem to matter. Oddly, its been nominated in the best selling category - but surely something either is best selling or isn't? Will the panel actually be counting sales before holding a vote on whether their or Gary Jules' title has sold more? How could that work?

Obviously, because its the law, Robbie Williams is listed in the nominations (Feel - best international hit) and so are Coldplay, who should be assured of picking up the 'most performed' title for Clocks since it's been slapped on every trailer and advert produced by a dull, uninspired creative in the last twelve months (i.e. most of them).

This is all like the Olivier Awards being given to Ben Elton or something. Doesn't Novello have relatives or someone who could complain?