Friday, April 02, 2004

UNLIKELY OPENING LINES OF NEWS REPORTS OF OUR TIME, NUMBER ONE: E! Online kicks off the news that prosecutors in Arizona aren't going to make her serve her jail time all over again with this jaw-dropper:

Diana Ross is not a diva who demands, nor receives special treatment.

Oddly, this is on top of an article which details the bizarre behaviour of the jail which was, apparently, so understaffed "they made it impossible for her to serve 48 hours consecutively, which was her full intent." Eh? We know that sometimes prisons have trouble keeping people who don't want to be inside within their walls - Jeffrey Archer heading off to have drinks and nibbles with top Conservatives while he was meant to have been in prison for perjuring himself when he denied having had sex with a hooker that time, for example - but how on earth would low staff levels prevent someone from being inside a prison when they "intended" to be there? Unless the prison in Conneticut is in some way tidal, washing its inmates out twice a day, and there simply weren't enough warders to help ensure the gaoled didn't wind up back out on the streets.

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