No Rock And Roll Fun

BLIMEY, YOU'RE NOT DEAD, THEN?: Astonishing comebacks, number seventy-nine: Apache Indian is still going, it seems, although he's hardly rubbing shoulders with greatness: he's spent the last twelve months recording with Boyz II Men, Blackstreet and, um, UB40, and contributing a track to Scooby Doo II: Monsters Unleashed. Since that affair has hardly left anyone involved unscathed - we suspect it might have been watching former co-star Sarah Michelle Gellar cavort with a badly realised cartoon dog that sent Nicholas Berendon down the off licence - we feel his pain. On a brighter note, he has been touring with Sean Paul, which does allow writers to shoehorn references to Beyonce into articles about him.

Naturally, it's Boomschackalak which has turned up on the Scooby movie - the song which Apache must thank every time he can afford a hot meal; even more naturally, he's keen to release a swift cash in ("2004 version")