No Rock And Roll Fun

KEATING'S EATING BEATING: Enormous becocked singer Ronan Keating collapsed on the floor just seconds before he was due to sing at Vienna's Life Ball for Aids charity bash. He was rushed to hospital - people are always rushed to hospital - where they diagnosed severe food poisoning. They pumped his stomach, and then they found sixteen different types of sperm in there... oh, hang on, wrong urban myth. Surely nobody would be so cruel as to lace Ronan's strawberries with salmonella to stop him playing, when they could have just cut the electricity?