No Rock And Roll Fun

THEY'D BE CLOSE ENOUGH TO SEE MY HANDS: Madonna and her geezerblokehusband Guy Ritchie have launched their bid to become actual, genuine rich, selfish cunts rather than just like behaving as if they were with the start of the hearing into the inquiry about their estate. Madonna and Guy, apparently convinced there's anyone left who'd give a fuck about them, are objecting to the new provisional map of England. The map is designed to ensure that the citizens of the country are able to go about their lawful business without rich people frustrating their rights of access. Madonna and Guy are worried that it could mean people might come within 100 yards of one of their many houses, spreading disease and poorness amongst them. God alone knows how much public money is being wasted on Madonna's vanity here. After all, why is she so worried about someone taking a shot of her in her house? Does she think a stolen snap of her in her underwear is going to affect her kids' wellbeing? Because, you know, they're going to have seen a lot worse. [Not Safe For Work]