No Rock And Roll Fun

TREBLES ALL ROUND: So, it seems ("they think we'll fall for the claims") that Whitney's whole checking out of rehab wasn't a sign that Whitney had had enough of the straight world, merely that she decided to continue as an outpatient. Understandable, really - have you tried getting a morning stiffner in those rehab places? Anyway, despite having left rehab, Whitney had a friend all along to help her make her way - a paid-for buddy called Nancy Seltzer, or as we like to think of her, Nancy Seltwhitewinezer - because what's a Seltzer without a white wine in it? Now, though, the need for a chaperone is over, as Whitney has been judged totally capable of making her own vacuous soundbites: "I now feel whole. I am finally fully myself again and feel stronger than ever. I decided to get rid of everything surplus in my life." Hmm... we must have missed the garage sale she flogged Bobby Brown off in.