No Rock And Roll Fun

BITTER MEN OF POP, NUMBER 789 IN A SERIES: You'd have thought a man who was reduced to appearing on Hell's Kitchen (for readers who don't live within the orbit of ITV, a celeb reality show where the guests were less famous than the items on the menu, and a lot less entertaining), would have learned how to cope with humiliation, but apparently, even Matt Goss has his limits, fuming at having the piss taken out of him by Angus Deayton:

"He thought he was too cool. I've sold millions of records. What the fuck has Angus done?"

Erm... Angus has sold millions of records, too - admitedly, his Heebeegeebees sales in Australia were a long time ago, but Bros aren't exactly a name on everyone's lips at the moment, unless in the context of "Shall we sell this old Bros album at the car boot sale?" In addition, of course Angus Deayton has hosted many prime-time programmes, been an actor in the remarkably successful One Foot In The Grave and the critically acclaimed Nighty Nighty, was one of the team behind the landmark Radio 4 series Radio Active and did years and years of Have I Got News For You. Furthermore, he was asked to host a show featuring a load of celebs who, frankly, Soutport Pier would baulk at using for warm-up artists, rather than be stuck in the kitchen with them. In fact, Matt, your moaning is rather like a chimp at the tea party complaining about the guy with the microphone doing the commentary

The singer added: "Everyone has said to me he was the one thing wrong with the show. I don't like anyone that tries to be cool - it's boring.

Really? Because everyone I've heard talking about the show said the only thing that made it worth watching was Deayton's obvious and wittily expressed contempt for the people whose agents have such little faith in their careers they could only conceive of a humiliating role being shouted at by Gordon Ramsey for not being able to cook a sausage as being the only way to maintain any sort of profile at all. We obviously have different friends, Matt.