No Rock And Roll Fun

GET ORF MOI LAND - THE LAW'S WITH ME: In a total shock, the British judicial system has sided with rich landowners in the battle over Madonna's land. The Planning Inspectorate has decided that only half of Mado... sorry, Esther's land will be open to the public. Still, you might get to have a go on the rest of the property when she's "decided" to donate it to the Kabbalah bloke for him to grow Rolls Royces on.

It's been a mixed day for Mr and Mrs Ritchie, though; Guy's bemusing Swag series for Channel Five has been shooting again. The programme is meant to lay tempting trails for thieves and then catches them when they take up the offer - literally, You've Been Framed - only some brain box on the programme fucked up and managed to leabe the camera equipment vulnerable. Thousands of pounds worth of kit vanished. Oops. The thieves didn't pinch the tapes of the show, for some reason, which suggests they were pretty discerning.