No Rock And Roll Fun

I AM THE LAW. NO, REALLY: Thursday night was a big night for DMX, it seems - at least to judge by the charges filed against him: crashing his stupid SUV through a parking lot gate at JFK, pretending to be a government agent (something he was helped with by having sirens on his car), ordering a bloke from another car, trying to manhandle that bloke out of his vehicle. And, breaking the unwritten rule of recreational drug users everywhere (don't draw attention to yourself if you're carrying), DMX had some drugs in the car, too - crack cocaine, since you ask. It seems to have all been a tribute to that episode of Frasier where the two Dr Cranes get in a tizzy over having to pay their parking fee.

Splendidly, DMX - whose mother calls him Earl Simmons - has also been charged with criminal mischief, which is the best name for a crime ever.