No Rock And Roll Fun

LIMITED RELEASE OF ELTON JOHN "NOT HARMFUL", SAY OFFICIALS: Biochemical experts are playing down the limited release of Elton John's 4 DVD box set in the States. "Although the contents of this box, comprising concert footage, could be toxic in large quantities, our understanding is that the boxes are only going to be allowed out in small quantities in BestBuy outlets, and as such should not prove too unsettling for the general public."

Okay, they didn't, but Best Buy's senior VP of Entertainment really did say "The cover of the set will feature an airplane, to "signify the journey Elton and his fans have taken over time." Surely a milk float, slowly emptying of its nutrituous, creamy payload and winding up as an empty shell wheezing along the back of council estate would have been more apt?