No Rock And Roll Fun

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS FAT DANCER: Of course, if Robbie Williams really wanted to create a new persona to "get rid of the baggage that goes with being Robbie Williams", wouldn't it have made sense not to tell everyone that you're adopting this new persona? Anyway, Williams has created this "character" called Pure Francis who is going to make "moody experimental music." Pure Francis? Stu Francis, more like.

"I've got him as an alcoholic and an American. I think he's from Orange County, moved to West Hollywood and has not had a lot of luck. He's been a session singer for all manner of people. I don't know how he's got from America to England and on the radio and on the telly but that will come. I know he's been in a lot of pain. It's sort of 'my last go' kind of territory. None of the album's comedy. You want the audience to be emotionally affected by the songs. I'm thinking about doing it with a false nose, a wig and everything and do the best album I've ever done."

So, even Rob has noticed there's a bit of a flaw in the backstory right there, what with this guy simultaneously being down on his luck and, presumably, somehow getting an album out. Robbie, if you need a bit of help, how about he was a contestant on Pop Idol who didn't make the final cut but caught a producer's eye? (See, not difficult, is it?).

If all this sounds familiar, you're probably having visions of Garth Brook's bizarre episode when he pretended to be a musician called Chris Gaines.

The project does have one saving grace, though: Williams is working with Stephen Duffy, so it's just possible the music might be alright.